Sapphire's Strange Friends
by Minerakf
Summary: What would happen if, out of nowhere, a group of four teenagers randomly appeared in Middle Earth? Sounds like a pretty commonly used topic right? Well, not this time! Because only one of them is herself when she gets to the other world. The other three... Well you can only imagine what happens when your boyfriend suddenly turns into an Orc, and your younger brother becomes a Warg!
1. Among the Orc-Friends of Old

Hey everyone! Minerakf here! I'm doing a brand new idea that randomly popped into my head. I thought this would be so cool to do, being a brand new idea and all! So, enjoy, and leave lots of tasty reviews! *nom-noms reviews*

Sapphire:

Now, the first thing you probably thought when you read my name was, 'What the heck? Who names their kid Sapphire?!' Well, my parents did, and honestly, I like my name the way it is.

But that's beside the point. You came here for a story about three modern day kids going to Middle Earth. But before you leave, I need to tell you something. This isn't your typical 'Wow...Legolas is hot...' type of fangirl goes to middle earth, joins the fellowship, and Mary-sue junk ensues. Well... The first and second part is right, but seriously, don't expect Legolas to just be like, 'Oh my god, I love you random human girl from another world.' Because that's not even what happened at all.

Because this is the real story of how me and my friends got transported to Middle Earth. Sure that's every Tolkien fan's dream come true, which it was for me...But of course, something had to go wrong with Julia and Tyler, and well...let's just say it changed the story from a Mary-sue/10th walker story to...I don't know what the heck this even could be described as.

You know what? I'm not going to go into much detail about my personal life before 'The Incident' as we now call it. Here's it summarized nice and pretty for you: Me, my BFF Julia, her slightly younger brother Peter, and Tyler, who was Julia's boyfriend, were all hanging out in my basement of my house, playing Call of Duty on Xbox. And yes, we were all Lord of the Rings fans. Thank the Varda for that at least! But it wasn't like we had been doing anything LOTR related at the time.

But in reality, you don't have to be reading the book, or watching the movie, or even playing the Lego Lord of the Rings Wii game to have something magical happen to you. Sometimes I guess, things just happen out of the blue, with no rhyme or reason to them. Now, I know you're going to be like, 'that's the poorest intro I've ever seen for a modern kids go to Middle Earth story', but you know what? Screw you! This was how it happened, and I don't care what you think about it!

It literally just... happened. One second, we were shouting about how we were going to kill each other, flopped on my plush couch and gleefully bashing the buttons on the remotes, the next, we were sitting in the middle of a forest, with no freaking idea how we had gotten there. This is our story, and this really happened to us.

 **Julia:**

"Die! Why won't you die?! I've hit you like three times already!" screamed Sapphire in agitation. I giggled, and made my character run in circles around Sapphire's fighter, who was shooting in every which way, trying to catch my guy in her gun sights. Tyler snorted, watching as the older girl got more and more agitated. I grinned evilly, and threw a grenade. Sapphire didn't notice in the confusion, and I knew the others weren't about the tell her about the deadly weapon that was about to take her character out. 3...

2...As I drew out the two in my mind, I suddenly wasn't sitting on a couch anymore. Heck, I wasn't even inside anymore! What in the world was going on?! Had my friends put me on drugs or something? I had to be hallucinating. You don't just go from sitting on a couch inside, to cool moss in a shady forest. ESPECIALLY when it's thirty two degrees out during winter in Maine, so there was no way we were anywhere near our homes.

"YOU COME BACK HE..." Sapphire was screaming, and then she abruptly cut off, just noticing that we were in the middle of a forest in who knew what country. We could be in freaking Taiwan for all I knew right now.

And then I realized that I felt slightly different. Like I had more strength in my limbs... My hair was done neatly up in braids. What the heck? I never wore braids!

Well, I guess there's always a time for something new! I glanced at Sapphire, who was staring in shock at something. I followed her gaze, and gasped when I saw what she was looking at. Instantly, I knew where we were.

Somehow, on God's Green Earth, we had managed to get ourselves freaking teleported into MIDDLE Earth. For some reason, I didn't feel like jumping up and down with joy. Maybe because there was a freaking Orc and a humungous Warg standing in the clearing beside us.

I did what any normal human being would do. I shrieked, and took off running at full speed into the forest. Sapphire didn't let me get more that two paces before she had dragged me back down to sit. In horror, I realized why she was not scared of the Orc and its Warg, who's mouth was also open in shock. The orc open and shut his mouth several times, unable to form words. He was patting himself all over his arms and face, like he couldn't believe he was an Orc. And the horrible shock set in, clawing its way to my heart, which was frozen like ice. I don't know how the heck it had happened , or why the heck it had happened, but my boyfriend, My Tyler, had been transformed into an Orc. And my little was now a monstrous Warg, almost twice the size of the ones in the movies. He was about the size of a freaking car. No, forget car, more like a truck!

 **Sapphire:**

OMG! This was nuts! We were REALLY in LOTR! I felt like dancing, but decided not to, for Julia's sake. After all, her boyfriend was now an Orc, and her little brother was the biggest Warg Middle Earth would probably ever see.

"T..T...Tyler?...Is... t..that.. really y..you?" Julia almost whispered, staring shell-shocked at her newly remade boyfriend. But I knew Julia and Tyler's love wasn't puppy dog love anymore. They were really, truly, actually, in REAL love. Julia wouldn't care what Tyler looked like. She would probably freak out even more when I told her that she was an elf.

I almost felt bad for Tyler. He got WAAAAAY uglier, and his girlfriend got WAAAAAY prettier. But no mind that, we could really use the now massive Peter the Warg to destroy everything in the fellowship's path. Then I realized my mistake: There was no freaking way that the fellowship was going to associate with an Orc and a Warg. The only ones who stood a chance on getting into the fellowship were me and Julia. And I knew that Julia wasn't going to let Tyler the Orc and her little brother the massive Warg, wander around alone. Because I had a guess at where we were, and I had a good feeling she did too.

We were where almost everyone arrived in the fan-fictions that I was addicted to. We were in the forests just outside Rivendell. The perfect place to begin a long journey.

"Alright, I'm pretty sure I know where we are!" I said, interrupting the Orc and Elf lovers who were whispering to each other off to one side.

"Um, Peter, can you, like, still... you know... talk?" Julia muttered embarrassedly, looking at the ground.

"Of course I can!" said Peter the Warg, his regular voice now all distorted and gruff.

"Ok, that's good. You know what? Julia, you find somewhere to hide, and just... you know, hang out. We need some sort of signal. How about a simple humming tune? Nobody would suspect an Orc of humming! Lol, you know that just sounds so funny!"

Julia glared at me, and finally relented. "How about Hum deedle dum!"

I snorted. "Really? Really? I really expected more from you Miss Julia. So disappointing."

Peter the Warg snorted loudly, sounding like he was having a spasm attack.

Julia gave him a pointed look, and then said, "Well, do you have any ideas, O Peter the Wise?"

Peter's (sorry) ugly dog-like face scrunched up its brow, and the human/Warg stuck his lolling black tongue out in concentration. Suddenly, Peter straightened, and sat bolt upright on his haunches.

"I've got it! It's prefect! We can do Rue's Mockingjay Tune!"

"Wow, didn't know you had it in you! I'm impressed!" I said, giggling. Julia sniggered, and Peter curled his lip angrily, revealing his massive dagger-sized yellow fangs.

"Nice set of canines you got there, my canine friend," joked Tyler, his now hideously warped and grayish brown face at least much cleaner than the orcs in the movie. He wasn't quite as bad as some of them, although it had messed up his hair. The familiar crew-cut was long gone, replace by thins strands of tangled black hair that didn't even begin to cover his scalp. Tyler looked at the ground sadly, knowing that he might never get his good looks and charm back.

He was lucky he had Julia. Julia was the most reliable and sweetest girl Sapphire had ever known. She smiled encouragingly at him, and Sapphire knew that she wasn't even seeing him on his outside. It was like she had x-ray vision, and could see the true Tyler locked deep within this grotesque new body.

Tyler smiled weakly back, and when he showed his teeth, I knew instantly that no amount of brushing would get the yellow off of them. And besides that, the inside of my Tyler's mouth was pure black.

One good thing, the magic had left Tyler in his regular clothes. Somehow, they had grown to fit his extremely hulking and muscular form. Suddenly, I recognized the way he held himself, and the coloration of his skin. Even without the clothes, the war paint on their faces, and the white hand painted on their shields, it was pretty easy to distinguish a fighting Uruk-hai from a regular Orc of Mordor. I almost giggled when I thought of Sarumon looking in his crystal ball and seeing one of his Uruk-hai chatting and holding hands with a Elf. He would be SOOOOOO furious. He was probably up in his tower throwing a mega temper tantrum right this instant. HAHAHAHA! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! :D


	2. Usain Bolt Jr Saves the Day

Thanks so much for the reviews, . Thanks for following,. Thanks for favoriting, . Please leave a review, but if you do so, can you please make sure it's fully typed and all. It's a little bit awkward when you have to be like, "Um, what do you mean by 'Are y'" It was a guest on another one of my stories, and I was like, " Were you trying to say, 'Arry y?' At least that makes more sense, but seriously, don't call Aragorn 'Arry' That would be like walking up to the Queen of England and saying, 'Yo! Wassup Lizzy?'" LOL! Anyways enjoy!

 **Sapphire:**

"Alright, you guys go ahead and follow me from a distance. Stay in the bushes very far from where I am, or else the guards might spot you when they spot me. They should be distracted enough when I'm talking to them for you to creep past. Be careful, and don't be seen. I'll bring you food okay?" I jabbered to my three strange friends.

"Okay, but how will you find us?" asked Tyler, always the smart one. I shrugged. I hadn't really thought of that.

"I dunno, I'll just look for you okay? I'll do our secret call, and if you hear me, call back at intervals, so I can follow the sound back to you guys. And don't worry, if it's really me coming up to your hiding place, you'll know, because I don't really know how to creep silently through the forest."

The elf, warg, and orc who used to be my human friends (they still were my friends!) nodded slowly, and I was off, walking in what I hoped was the right direction.

"Um, you're going the wrong way..." mutter Julia.

"How would you know?" I replied snidely. She looked confused, but Peter came to her rescue, "I can smell elf in that direction. Fresh Elf flesh." The Warg licked his massive lips, and then cackled at our shock and discomfort. "Alright, alright, I'm just kidding," he said, grinning wildly.

"You know, you should probably come up with a story ahead of time, before you rush off with the fellowship. Also, we should probably change our names a little if we want to sound like we're from around here," noted Tyler quietly.

"Good point...But I'm not changing my name from Sapphire. I will be a female Ranger from far off lands in the South, where the culture is very different of course," I announced, leaving no room for discussion.

"Good idea. That would help explain the clothing," said Tyler. "And, just for the sake of fitting in with any Orcs we meet, I'll be Torzhug the Warg Rider. I'll be one of those single orc tribes that doesn't get involved with anything. Hopefully that will be enough to satisfy any Orcs who meet me, and ask why I don't have a weapon."

"I would swipe you a weapon! What kinds do you want anyways?" I asked, astonished that Tyler was planning on going without a weapon.

"Well, I really don't think I will need any weapons..." muttered Peter. "You know, the teeth and claws, and all that good junk. This is pretty awesome actually! I mean, look at me! I look so BOSS! Yes, that's it, you can call me THE WARG BOSS!"

"You know what? No. I am not going to call you 'The Boss Warg' Come on, be serious..." Julia muttered, rolling her eyes to show her frustration with her little...giant brother.

"How about, um...I know, you can be Pete, but spelled, P-e-e-t!"

"Peet the Warg, I like it!" said Julia. "I know what I'm going to be already. I want to be called Jewel. Since I don't know nearly as much about Middle Earth as you guys, I think I'll just pretend I have amnesia if I am questioned."

"Alright..." murmured Sapphire, not sure if their names being so related was to her liking. "Sapphire, Lady Ranger of the South, Torzhug, Warg Rider, Peet, and Jewel, the amnesiac elf. Sounds like a plan."

And with that, I headed in the direction Peter...Peet told me he smelled elf coming from. Unfortunately, I found that this smell was only coming from that direction because of a single elf, riding swiftly along the road. Arwen, on her elvish horse, which was racing as it fast as possibly could while carrying an elf and an unconscious hobbit. And pursuing her were all nine Ringwraiths...Nazgul... the dreaded Black Riders. They were screeching in anger and Arwen glanced back to see one of their black swords within inches of her horse. She yelled in shock, and urged her horse to run faster that it had ever run before. The poor horse's flanks had sweat streaming off of them in rivulets, and the beautiful beast was neighing agitatedly. I think I would be too, if I were that horse. Luckily, the Nazgul were too focused on their chase to notice me running behind them. I could almost keep up, with my overly long legs.

You see, I was the fastest person in my school. In my state. Even in my country. People said that one day, I would become the next, and even better Usain Bolt. Because not only could I run extremely fast, I could hold that pace for a considerable good time. I also packed a good punch. People used to tease me about being such a reading nerd, when I looked like a jock. Not anymore though. And yes, you are going to be like 'oh, what a coincidence, she's a black belt in Karate' Too freaking bad. I AM a black belt in Karate, and I have the belt to prove it. Oh wait... Shoot... I DON'T have the belt to prove it, because it's sitting at home in my closet, back on planet Earth. Oh well, never mind...

But Karate wasn't the only sport I'd ever done. In fact, I had done so many sports, it would take a full paragraph to list them all. I liked to keep changing sports, because everything came so easily to me, they became tedious an boring. I had yet to find a sport I wasn't a master at in three weeks. I had already gone through swimming, basketball, baseball, kickball, track, cross-country, wrestling, soccer, water skiing, snow skiing, wakeboarding, skateboarding, snowboarding, roller skating, archery, riflery, gymnastics (I had quit because nobody likes watching a hulking muscle-bound freak do gymnastics), fencing, football, weightlifting, and pole-vaulting. Shoot, I had even tried Yoga once, but only because Julia had insisted.

Well, I hate to say, not even super speedy me could keep up with a horse at full speed. Not even with the fact that I could run even faster in this world. Don't ask, because I don't know. That didn't really help though, because Elvish horses are even faster than our horses. This horse was going almost forty miles per hour! The record is around that on Earth! By the time I caught back up with Arwen, she was crouched on the ground beside her exhausted horse, saying to Frodo, "No! Not after you made it this far!"

And that was when I decided to screw my original plan, and go with the crazy nutcase plan that most people would take if they arrived in Middle Earth. I craftily came up with words that the elf would understand before I spoke though.

"Hello Arwen. The sky is lovely today isn't it? What troubles you on this lovely day?"

Arwen looked up, and a surprised look quickly crossed her face when she saw I was a heavily muscled lady wearing strange clothes. I could only imagine what was going through Arwen's mind as she looked me up and down slowly, then said, "I have a badly injured halfling here, and my steed cannot go any further. You would not happen to have a fresh ride? He will pass on if he not make it to the House of Elrond with haste,"

Her eyes pleaded silently with me, begging for a horse, but sadly I did not have a horse.

"I sadly do not have a ride at the time. However... I could take him for you. After all, hobbits ARE light,"

She stared at me, not fully comprehending what I was saying.

"I do not know how you came to know this was a hobbit, and I do not understand what you are asking me. Are you saying that you wish to bear him all the way to the House of Elrond? "

"Yeesss..." I said, drawing out the s. "Just tell me one thing...how much further exactly is that?"

"Just over two leagues, strange human. There is no hope. He is fading too quickly.

"How much longer does he have?" I prompted her.

"Mere seconds..." she murmured, looking sadly down at the short little hobbit, who was groaning and sweating profusely, his skin get blackish splotches. He was turning into a wraith. I had to save him! Without him, Middle Earth would fall!

I didn't even bother to ask permission, just pushed her gently out of the way and picked up the hobbit like he weighed nothing. He practically did weight nothing, but to me, he was a featherweight.

"You are strong mi'lady, but that will not get you there in time. I appreciate your determination, but it will not save him. It is too late."

I just glared fiercely at Arwen, and without answering, took off sprinting as fast as my legs could carry me. Which, in this world that had a slightly different take on time, was almost 35 freaking miles per hour. Holy cow. I could sprint as fast as a freaking horse in this world. This was ridiculous! And AWESOME!

My feet flew, my strides were long, and my tennis shoes sent up little clouds of dust when they struck the path. I raced through marble arches domes, startling many elves in gray robes. I didn't even bother to stop for the guards, who shot at me, missing in their shock, and also because I was too fast of a target for even an elf.

The guards further in were better archers though. And I was getting very exhausted from my sprinting. I was starting to feel Frodo's weight on my back, and he wasn't helping by thrashing and groaning loudly.

I managed to push through, making it all the way to the main area, whatever they called it, where Elrond and the other elders resided. This area was heavily guarded though, and when I came running up at full speed, not stopping even when they shouted out a warning to me, they all fired at once. I wasn't able to dodge them all, and one grazed my right ankle. I cried out, stumbling briefly, but kept sprinting. Only a bit further! Only a bit further!

But my body wasn't able to take this kind of rough usage. Just as dozens of elf guards armed with swords came racing around the to block me off, my burst of strength left me, and I fell limp to the ground, passing out when my head painfully hit the stone tiles. The last thing I remembered was the guards crying out, and lifting Frodo off my back. I sure hoped he was okay. Then I sank into the darkness. I knew one thing for sure though. My legs were going to be absolute noodles when I woke up.


	3. I Break My Own Rules

Thanks for following, Kelphead2. Thanks for reviewing as well Kelphead2. Wow, this got so many visitors so fast. The second chapter has almost as many hits as the first, which is awesome, because that means you guys like it! BUT SERIOUSLY: IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD"VE PUT A REVIEW ON IT! Lolz, sorry, that just popped into my head, and I had to do it. But really, review, it lets me know your feelings about the story, and encourages me to write more sooner. Without reviews I just get discouraged, and lose enthusiasm for writing. But enough of my blabbing, just enjoy!

 **Sapphire:**

When I woke, my body didn't ache nearly as bad as I thought it would. I guessed that that Elrond maybe did some magic on my muscles or something, because they only throbbed a small bit, and I was full of energy again. I also was starrvvvinnng! I was lying in a clean white bed, in a clean white room. Gandalf was standing beside my bed, looking very bored. He hadn't noticed that I was awake yet. Why was Gandalf in my room? I mean, I knew that Gandalf woke Frodo in the movie, but why would Gandalf wake me?

Then I realized. Duh. Cause I had saved Frodo's life, that's why. I stirred a little, letting him know I was not sleeping anymore.

"Ah, so the foreign Halfling Saver awakes. Is the tale Arwen tells of you true? It is quite hard to believe," he said, chuckling at the ridiculousness of whatever tale Arwen had told of me.

I didn't answer for a minute, not wanted to slip and mess up. Gandalf noticed my discomfort and confusion, so he continued, "Did you truly run all the way from the river where Arwen washed away the Black Riders to here?"

"Yes, Master Gandalf," I replied cordially, making sure I minded my old fashion speech. I didn't want to have any slip-ups and say 'Yep' or 'Um...yeah'

His eyebrows raised a little when I said his name, but other than that, he just kept peering intently at me. After a moment of silence, he quietly murmured "over two entire leagues covered in mere minutes... I do not know where you come from, but you are very powerful my lady... What may I call you?"

"Sapphire. Merely Sapphire thank you."

"Sapphire. What an odd name. Could you possibly tell me a bit about where you come from?"

"I come from deep in the south of the realm of Gondor, past the desert lands where the Ents sought the Entwifes. I am a explorer, a Ranger, a protector of my peoples."

"A Lady Ranger?" Gandalf's eyebrow soared high on his forehead, as he stared at me in shock. Finally he regained his composure, coughing slightly and saying, "I have never heard of such thing my lady, but forgive me. You are from a foreign land, obviously with customs we do not know of. Welcome. This is the House..."

"Of Elrond. Yes, I know Gandalf," I interrupted, letting my boldness get the better of me. I had promised myself not to play the 'all knowing' card, and look at me, already breaking that promise. But I couldn't help myself. Who could? Only the most controlled of people could restrain from showing off their knowledge of the affairs of Middle Earth, and I was definitely NOT a controlled person.

He peered even more intently at me, and I felt like he was reading my mind. I hoped he wasn't actually reading my mind. That would be disastrous. Finally he leaned back, sighing heavily, and shaking his head.

"I don't suppose you will reveal how you know of me? You say you are from a far off land, yet you seem very familiar with places and people living here. How did you know Arwen's name? How did you know of the halfling?"

Shoot. I was busted. I needed to come up with an explanation, and fast, without revealing that I knew their future as well. UM...UM...

Then it came to me, as clear as glass. The perfect solution. I could "reveal" it to the fellowship later. But for now, I preferred to have an upper hand on the wizard. If he didn't know my secrets, I had power over him and the fellowship.

So I said simply, "If I find that I can trust you, Gandalf the Grey, I will share my knowledge with you. Now please get out of my room. I know now why the Shire folks labeled you as a 'disturber of the peace'"

He raised one eyebrow at me, and then turned and shuffled slowly out of the room. Unfortunately, I was to get no peace, because two minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

I groaned, and stood up slowly, my legs still a bit shaky, and hobbled over to the door. Standing there was an elf wearing long flowing garments of gray. He had a bow on his back, and a sword was dangling in a sheath partially hidden by the folds of his robe. One of the guards.

"If you please, mi'lady, Elrond wishes to speak to you in the council," the elf said cordially, though there was a hint of anger to his tone. He was probably mad that a human... a Female human, had gotten past him and his other guard friends. I almost smirked at the glare he was sending my way. They thought they were so high and mighty, and then I come along.

The elf led me to the courtyard where the council was being held. It was only when I saw the group of Middle-Earthians that realization dawned on me. Now, this is probably very stupid sounding, but the soon-to-be Fellowship looked identical to the actors that played them. WHAT IN THE WORLD?!

I decided to go with it. What else was I supposed to do? I strode confidently into the courtyard, and every eye turned on me.

Apparently nobody but Elrond and Gandalf were expecting me, because gasps could be heard throughout the small gathering of elves, dwarves, hobbits, and men. And one wizard. And also, a very muscular, beefy woman. (that being me)

They all ogled at my figure, and my clothes. Some did better than others at hiding their shock. The hobbits were not in that category. Every hobbit's mouth was a perfect o, and their eyes bugged out of their heads.

Nobody spoke for almost a solid minute. You could practically hear an ant's heartbeat, it was so quiet.

Gimli was the first to break the awkward silence.

"What is the meaning of this?!" he exclaimed, tugging at his beard and ogling at me some more.

His voice was enough to set off a chain reaction. The whole room suddenly erupted into noise, and people talking loudly.

"Who is she?" "What is she doing here?" "Where did she come from?" "Is she on our side?"

"Who brought her here?" "What does she have to do with the quest?" And the last comment from Boramir, very rude indeed: "What is this wench doing here?"

At that very instant, I lost it.

"SHUT IT!" I bellowed, my deep voice that matched my masculine looks bouncing off the stone walls and columns.

"Shut what?" asked Elrond, sounding very dumb.

I sighed, "Shut your mouths."

Elrond's eyebrows quirked a little, barely noticeable, and then Gandalf cleared his throat, "I know you all have many questions. I am sure she will answer most of them in due time. But for now, all you need to know is that she is the only reason the Halfling is alive today."

There was an outburst of talking, and Gandalf had to slam his staff down on the stones to get everyone's attention again. "Now, would you so kindly explain to everyone who you are?" said Gandalf, not really asking, more like ordering.

I sighed, and fiddled with my One Ring replica on a chain in my pocket. Course, they hadn't looked in my pocket, because elves don't have pockets. I was at least relieved of that. I had a little urge in the back of my mind to destroy it as soon as I got a chance, because if they saw it, well, that could end badly. But I was fond of it, and I'd be darned if I was going to destroy it after I had spent fifty dollars of my own allowance to get it in titanium just so it wouldn't get scratched. I'd just have to be careful with it.

"As you wish... It is my pleasure to meet you all on this fine day. You may call me Sapphire. I come from the South, even further south than Southern Gondor. My peoples live there, and I protect them. I am an explorer of distant lands, a Ranger one might say,"

Aragorn's mouth opened in shock. So did most everyone's mouth. Legolas was one of the few who kept his composure. But suddenly, I saw a flash of anger in his eyes. And then I remembered. SHOOT! DOGGONE IT ALL, I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT LEGOLAS COULD DETECT LIES!

He knew I was making it all up. I had no clue why he wasn't already standing bolt upright, announcing what a fake I was. It's not like they would believe me instead of him. But he didn't, and so I swallowed my fear, and continued, "Please, do not mind me though. Continue with your debating. I care not."

On that, I got some glares, but it worked. They gradually started talking again. Finally, after ages of arguing about who would take the Ring, Frodo stepped forward, and said meekly, "I will take it...though I do not know the way..."

Gandalf looked sadly down at the little hobbit, and then Aragorn stepped forward, unsheathing his sword and declaring loudly, "You have my sword!"

Legolas stood, and likewise announced, "And my bow!"

Then Gimli had to be a copycat and declare gruffly, "And my axe!"

Boramir stepped forward carefully saying, " If it is the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done."

And of course, perfectly on time, Sam leapt out from behind a stone column, and cried, "But surely you won't send him alone, Master?!"

"No indeed, for it is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a council and you are not," replied Elrond, smiling and chuckling ever so slightly.

Sam blushed red to the tips of his ears, and sat beside Frodo, muttering, "Nice pickle we've gotten ourselves into, Mr. Frodo."

Merry and Pippin were the last to announce they were entering the fellowship, running out and standing beside Frodo and Sam, yelling, "You're not leaving without us! You'd have to stick us in a sack to stop us!"

I tried to hold my laughter in as Pippin said, "Besides, you need people of intelligence on this...mission...quest...thing..."

But I failed as soon as Merry said, "Well that rules you out, Pip."

I snorted loudly, but luckily several others did at the same time, so I was not heard.

I steeled my nerves, and bravely stepped forward. The effect was instantaneous. You could practically hear the crickets in the background. I held back a gulp, and announced courageously, "I wish to come as well. You have my strength."

"How do we know you are on our side?" spat Boramir.

"Hush Boramir," Elrond said solemnly. "You will need as much help as you can get."

"Lot of help a woman will do..." muttered the arrogant man. And I lost it. My face turned beet red, and before I could remember to fix up my speaking, I bellowed, "EXCUSE ME, BUT I DIDN'T HAUL FRODO'S SORRY LITTLE BUTT FOR SIX MILES IN TEN FREAKING MINUTES AFTER CHASING NAZGUL TO BE TOLD I AM WORTHLESS BY A STUPID, ARROGANT, AND PATHETIC LITTLE MAN!"

It felt soooo good to let out all that rage that had been building up inside of me. My face had already returned to its normal color by the time the shocked Boramir even made a sound.

Everyone stared at me like I had lost my mind, which I had for a second there.

Finally Boramir let out an astonished and angry huff, which seemed to break the silence. The Gondorian stalked away, knowing he would never win this battle. From then on, I think it was pretty much obvious that I was going on the quest whether Boramir wanted me to or not.

Legolas finally muttered, "Freaking? I have never heard this word before, what does it mean?"

I thought for a second, then shrugged, and said loudly, "UMM... Kind of hard to describe. Think of it as light swearing."

"You were swearing?" asked Aragorn, obviously still in awe that I was a female Ranger.

"Yep. Uh...sorry, yes..." I corrected myself quickly.

"You are...very interesting..." muttered Aragorn, not sure what to say. Legolas was giving me a look that clearly said, "I will find out who you are, and soon."

I stuck my tongue out at him, sniggering to myself when he looked at me confused. It's so much fun when you can be rude to people and they don't even know that you are being rude to them! Ha! I was going to have loads of fun here in Middle Earth.

But I wasn't so sure about my friends...


	4. How to Clean Your Warg's Teeth

Thanks for the review, Foxface! I'm glad you think this story is cool! If you have ever played Skylanders, check out my new story, _New Lands for Skylanders_ (lotr crossover) Here's the description:

 **When crazy creatures come from another world, and a green warrior elf appears in Middle Earth, how will the stunned Middle-Earthians react? Will they attack these newcomers, or will they ask for their help in defeating Sauron? Or will Stealth Elf murder everyone?**

Also check out my older story, _Strange Things from Beyond._ Here's the description for that as well:

 **When a magical portal that spits out strange objects appears in Rivendell, Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn are summoned by Elrond to investigate. How will the middle-earthians react when they discover firearms, technology, and...bubble wrap?**

Hope you enjoy this chapter everyone!

 **Sapphire:**

I should have known. After an elf took me to get a weapon for the journey, (I chose a sword) I was cornered on the way back to my room by Legolas. Since he couldn't exactly pin me to the wall, because I was much, much stronger than him, he instead chose to draw his bow on me.

"Whoa, whoa , whoa!" I said, throwing my new sword to the floor with a clang, and holding my hands up to show I was unarmed. I did not want to get killed by my favorite character of all time! Talk about getting your dreams crushed!

He advanced on me, forcing me to back into a corner. There was no escape now...

"Who are you really? And don't lie to me... I wouldn't normally do this to a lady, but you are no normal woman,"

"Please, Legolas, I can't tell you everything, at least not yet... It could change the fate of Middle Earth. You are correct, I am not from the South. I am not from Middle Earth at all. But I know you can detect lies, so I tell you truthfully: I only wish to help the fellowship in the goal they set out to accomplish," I honestly said.

Legolas sighed, and put the arrow back in his quiver. He started to walk away, then paused. The elf turned, looked me in the eye, and said quietly, "Trust me on this. You cannot hide who you truly are from the fellowship for long. Especially from Gandalf. I will allow you to continue your ruse, against my better judgment. I am placing a great amount of trust in you. Do not make me regret it...Ranger,"

I nodded slowly, and with that, the elf turned and strode down the hall, disappearing around the corner.

I let out my breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I kept having to remind myself that this was for real. This was no ridiculous fan-fiction tale crafted up with a happy ending planned ahead of time. I was really in Middle Earth, and I was facing a very real enemy. I had to be careful how I acted around the fellowship. I knew I should remain quiet, and only help fight a bit, but even me fighting could adversely affect the outcome of the plot. Plot. I scoffed. This was no mere story anymore. Middle Earth might be my new home. Who knew if we'd ever get home again. I had to fight for my new home, whatever it took. I couldn't even save lives, or the quest might fail. Gandalf would have to go through all that fighting with the Balrog, when I could pull him up. I mean, he hung on for a good... I don't know, two and a half seconds? Enough to grunt out, "Fly you fools!"

But he needed his staff, and also, the Balrog might actually follow them and kill them all later. I didn't have any earthly idea how Gandalf would be able to fix Theoden without the power upgrade. Upgrade... I snorted. There went my video-gaming brain again, changing even the way I thought.

Suddenly, I remembered my words to my friends earlier that day. I had to bring them food, or they would starve to death out there!

Thing was, I was very stealthy, for such a muscular person. Perhaps it came from the many times I had snuck out of my house at night, because my house had extremely annoyingly creaky floorboards. I had found out that if I put the weight of my feet into my toes, I had a smaller step. Many people don't really think about this, but most floorboard creaks, are not the floorboards bending (because that would be a safety hazard), but actually floorboards moving against each other because your foot is on two of them at once. If you only step on individual boards, you are less likely to make lots of noise.

Besides that, I was a pickpocket. So I was quick with my feet and hands... Oh hold on, let me explain. I wasn't actually picking pockets, I was...hmm...filling pockets! It was an ongoing prank my friends and I had been doing for years. The rumors had spread across Maine, that there was an invisible pixie flying around Buxburrow, causing trouble everywhere she went. It actually attracted some tourists, which was the whole point of the endeavor. Buxburrow was such a lonely little town otherwise.

The 'goblin' was us, the top secret MM gang, or the Mischief Management team. In case you didn't get that, it came from 'mischief managed', the word used to clear the map of Hogwarts in Harry Potter. Sorry, babbling again. Anyways, we did crazy stuff, some of that including stuffing random small things and notes in tourist's pockets.

We had trained on each other, sneaking up at random times. We had gotten so good at our tricks that not even when we were expecting it, were we able to catch each other. Only then did we start our pranks, spreading the pixie rumor among younger children, who spread it to the adults, and pretty soon, everyone believed that Buxburrow had a rogue pixie pulling tricks on the citizens.

I was so lost in my thoughts, that I ran straight into a marble column.

"Ow..." I muttered, rubbing my forehead. Finally, I made it to the kitchens, or at least what almost could be called a kitchen, stealing some freshly picked grapes, ready for breakfast the next morning, and some hot rolls just out of the oven. I felt kind of bad about doing it, but I also swiped the small meat cleaver that belonged to the dwarf Gloin as a weapon for Julia...Jewel. I couldn't slip up and call her the wrong name. That could end disastrously. My friend was not Julia. She was Jewel. Jewel. Jewel. Jewel!

Finally, I convinced myself that my friends were not Julia, Tyler, and Peter, but Jewel, Torzhug, and Peet.

By that time, I had slipped outside the borders of Rivendell without being spotted by guards, thankfully.

The rolls were already cold, and the grapes were getting slightly smashed in the little cloth bag I had found in the kitchen. I had found out what it was the hard way, when I picked it up, and inhaled a cloud of white flour dust. Now that I was covered in white flour, I blended in pretty well with the white columns and marble floors. If anyone had caught a glimpse of me, they probably thought they had just seen a ghost.

I giggled to myself, and walking out further into the unkempt forest, careful not to lose my way, I called out hesitantly, "Jewel!"

No answer. I tried again, but louder, "Jewel?! Are you here?"

All I heard was crickets. I had been stupid. I should have come up with a meeting place. They could be asleep for all I knew.

Or dead...

I ended up walking in a huge circle around Rivendell, calling out, "Jewel!" over and over again.

Finally, I arrived back at the spot where I had started, very exhausted, and very, very worried.

"Jewel?!" I wailed, throwing a rotting log at a boulder in my anger.

And then the boulder let out a yelp, and jumped.

Because the boulder that I had been standing was not a boulder, but Peet the massive Warg.

"Peet!" I cried exasperatedly, "I walked all the way around Rivendell, and you were here all along?!"

"Uh, yeah... I was sleeping? How did you not notice me? I'm, like, MASSIVE,"

"I don't know! Maybe all wargs are that way when they curl up, but I could have sworn you were a big gray boulder!"

"How'd you find me then?"

"I threw a stick at you," I said, laughing.

"Um... Why?"

"Nevermind," I rolled my eyes, and then froze, "Where are Torzhug and Jewel?"

"Umm... we're really going to even call each other our fake names in private?"

"Shh! You never know when the trees are listening! It says so in... LOTR.

"Alright, alright, no need to be so paranoid. Sheesh..." mumbled Peter...Peet.

"Where are they?" I nearly growled, because it was obvious now that Peet was avoiding answering.

"Well...umm...Torzhug is just further into the forest...Um... It's kind of disgusting, so we made him leave..."

"What's disgusting?" I asked, glaring suspiciously at Peet, who was stammering.

That's when I realized that he wasn't embarrassed, or frightened, he was struggling to hold in laughter!

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" I bellowed. He couldn't help himself any more, and burst into giggles, taking big gulps of air, and managing to blurt out: "Tyler caught and ate a rabbit! Raw!"

I stared at him in shock. The civilized, intelligent Tyler would have barfed at the notion of eating any meat raw. And there was no way the old Tyler could have caught a rabbit with his bare hands.

Then I shook my head, and said slowly, "Tyler may still be Tyler on the inside, but on the outside, he's Torzhug, and Torzhug is an orc, therefore, he eats things raw..."

"Whatever you say, it's still disgusting!" cried Peter, suddenly letting loose a rumbling burp. And trust me, this Warg had a nasty burp. It smelled like decaying, dying things, rotten eggs, blood, with a hint of pine needles. Nasty!

"Dude! Can you please burp the other way?!" I complained, pinching my nose. "What have you been eating? Decaying orc?

"No! I just had a snack!"

"A snack? I was joking when I asked you what you had ate, because I didn't think you had eaten anything? Peet, did you eat a rabbit too?"

"No! I just...might have had a bit of...chicken..."

"Chicken?" I raised my eyebrows at the fibbing Warg.

"ALRIGHT! I ATE SOME BIRDS! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!" he grumbled loudly at me. Even with the harsh vocal cords of a warg, the younger boy's voice still had that adorable squeak to it. Even though he was huge, and ugly, and his breath smelled, he was still hard to stay mad at.

I sighed, and said, "Just, please, go gargle in a waterfall or something. Chew on some trees, I've heard people in the old days cleaned their teeth by chewing on a certain type of stick. With your massive teeth however, it's going to take a whole branch to get your mouth clean. Peet just snorted, and started chewing on a large branch, his teeth mutilating the branch in less than a second.

"Holy..." I muttered, as Peet yelled about getting a splinter his mouth. He pawed a hunk of wood out of his mouth, the size of a water bottle.

"Seriously, this is a splinter to you? Holy cow your teeth are sharp! You mutilated that tree branch Peet! Just imagine, you almost feel bad for the Orcs, they don't stand a chance against you. That's probably why they teamed up with Wargs to begin with," I said, laughing, "Hey, you told me where Torzhug was, but where did Jewel go?"

"Oh, she went in the opposite direction when I bit a bird in half,"

I sniggered quietly to myself, and left the food sitting on a gnarled tree stump.

"Just, watch this and make sure the forest animals don't get it, alright?" I said.

"Alright, but I can't make any promises about the forest animal's well-being,"

"Gross Peet, Gross... Just... bye... I don't want to stay to watch that..." I said, turning and making my way back to Rivendell.

Apparently, someone else was up late as well. A small light lit one of the many courtyards. I snuck closer, and saw that it was just Arwen and Aragorn, talking in the flickering light of a single torch. They were acting all mushy, and I fake gagged, just managing to stifle a giggle. I crept back to my room, deciding it would be a good idea to sleep. I was exhausted again, and my legs were starting to get wobbly. I collapsed into bed, thankful that I would be getting one last night in a real bed before we set off.


	5. Boromir Gets What he Deserves

Thank you for reviewing, um...Me Who Else (Guest), and Foxface (Guest). PS: I love the encouragement Foxface, but just to let you know, it's kind of annoying to me (only because I'm weird though), when you type 'Oh my gosh' , it is changing it to 'On my gosh'. Lol, I'm nuts for complaining about that... Ignore me... Just, thanks for following CrazyAwesomeZebra, review, and enjoy! Also, sorry about the missing words in this story, lol. It happens sometimes. Idk... They're in the word document, so it must be fan-fiction that's doing it. Enjoy! :D

 **Torzhug:**

I still was trying to wrap my mind around just how exactly I was a Uruk-hai. What in the Varda had happened to make us end up in Middle Earth? And, in the name of freaking Sauron, WHY THE HECK DID I HAVE TO BE TURNED INTO AN ORC?! It was just not fair. I could never join the fellowship now, which had been my dream. I would have to hide, and I was in lots of danger of being slaughtered by pretty much anything in this world. Even orc killed other orcs. Especially suspicious and strange orcs like me. At least, if you were an elf, nothing but orcs and wargs and stuff were going to try to kill you. Men didn't kill elves. Hobbits didn't kill elves. Even dwarves didn't kill elves.

Orcs however, were in danger from every sentient species of Middle Earth. I was one lucky kid...Of course, Peter... Peet, was a warg, so he was in the same situation, but at least he was massive, and had awesomely sharp teeth and claws. All I had was brute force, and a stick I had sharpened on a rock to protect myself. All Jewel had was a small meat cleaver.

This was going to be one long adventure...

 **Sapphire:**

We started off at dawn. I was thankful that events from both the book and the movie were happening, because if we had to stay in Rivendell for two whole months, I would go absolutely nuts from boredom.

I helped Sam load the bags onto Bill, the pony from Bree, and took the largest bags myself. I figured I couldn't hurt the plot just by carrying their luggage for them. It was the least I could do for them. I had already decided I would be the baggage hauler, instead of poor old Sam.

Sam looked at me in shock, when I lifted up his giant pack, and then picked up Frodo's, Pippin's and Merry's packs as well, tied them all on top, and walked off, pots and pans flopping around on the rough cloth that was already digging into my shoulders painfully. It wasn't too heavy, compared to the weights I had lifted before, but the straps...the straps were absolutely killing me, just after five minutes of silent walking out of Rivendell.

We were silent for a long time, and finally, to my relief, Aragorn finally voiced what everyone had been thinking. I knew they had been staring at me the entire time, wondering why I would carry all that stuff for the hobbits, when I had no obligation to help the hobbits at all. I had no reason to join the fellowship in their minds. I had even less reason to carry their luggage for them.

"Lady Sapphire..." he started, the silence shattering like glass at his voice, "Why do you take it upon yourself to bear the halflings' packs? I mean no offense, but surely that much weight is even too much for you to endure?..."

I sighed, "Yeah, you're right... I guess I can't always be the hero... But I won't make the poor hobbits carry these heavy things if they do not want to... they are used to an easy life, and I believe it would be more work for them to carry their own pack, than it is for me to carry them for them."

Every hobbit immediately blushed, sheepishly blurted,"Oh no, no! It isn't work at all!" at the same time and lifted their heavy packs off of my shoulders. I sighed in relief, and rolled my aching shoulders, which cracked and popped like an old machine that was out of oil. Then I made a decision.

"At least let me take Frodo's pack. He's already bearing a burden that none should have to bear..." I said exasperatedly, and, without waiting for an answer, I lifted the pack off of Frodo's back and threw it back over my pack with a thump. My back groaned in protest, because my bag was heavy enough, but I told it to shut up. If I had carried four extra bags, one of them Sam's giant pack for two whole hours, then I could carry one extra, very light bag for the rest of the day.

And indeed, the rest of the day we walked, on and on, for what seemed like eons.

Even I was exhausted when Gandalf finally let us stop on a rocky slope, though I suspected it had something to do with carrying extra baggage.

However, I did not complain when Boramir said I must practice my fighting with the hobbits.

"Come over here, Lady Sapphire. Let us judge for ourselves if you are truly a Ranger. Show us your skill with your sword. If you can wield a sword, and you have been traveling through the wilderness as you say, why then do you not have your own sword?" he said snidely.

I rolled my eyes at him, and replied angrily, "You must be a greater fool than I had thought! I had to flee from a group of Orcs, and was not able to return and retrieve it from the stomach of the orc I KILLED! "

Boramir huffed in disbelief, and, scowling, beckoned me over. He drew his sword.

"We'll start slow, okay?" he said, treating me like a little baby learning how to walk.

"Okay..." I muttered, smirking slightly. Sure, he was a good sword fighter, but I doubted that he had even flipped with a sword. I knew a thousand and one moves to attack your foe with a sword, the majority of which included flipping. This would be fun. Very fun...

I started out slowly, pretending to have trouble blocking his slow strokes. He scoffed, and muttered things under his breath, probably saying how bad I was.

"Alright, I'm going to go a little bit faster, okay?..." he asked, smiling at me like he couldn't believe I was even here.

"Alright. I think I'll go a...bit faster as well!" I said cheerily, flashing him a sickeningly sweet smile.

He had just swung the sword at me, and I didn't bother returning the hit. I just rolled backwards into a kneeling position, and his sword struck the ground with a thud.

He yanked it out, and growled, "What are you doing? You're supposed to block with your sword, not roll around on the ground!"

"Oh, I'm sorry..." I said, widening my eyes and smiling innocently at him. He scoffed yet again, and grunted, "You should never have been allowed to come. Some Ranger you are... You're just a village girl from Bree, trying to fit in a man's clothes. Go home girl, before I make you go home!"

Well... I wasn't expecting him to be THAT rude. Now he would pay...

"You know what, Boramir, son of Denethor? I'm getting really sick of you. And you know what happens to people I'm sick of?" I asked, still smiling innocently, and talking in a sickly sweet voice.

He huffed, not believing that I was actually threatening him, "Enough of your fancy lies girl...You are a woman, and women cannot fight,"

That was it.

"YOU SEXIST MAN PIG!" I screeched at him, my voice going an octave higher than normal. And with that, I was upon him like an arrow from a bow. He barely deflected my sword from decapitating him, the blades meeting with a ear piercing _Clang!_. His eyes widened in pure shock as I put pressure into my wrist and thumb, putting immense pressure onto his sword. In the blink of an eye, his sword with on the ground, and my slightly shorter blade was at his bare neck.

Every single member of the fellowship was ogling me, even Gandalf. Legolas raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. The shock was still setting in for Boramir. He stared down at the cold blade resting against his exposed skin, not believing that he had been defeated so easily. He probably though I was going to kill him now.

Of course, I wasn't going to kill him. I'm not THAT evil. Geez... But everyone in the fellowship was frozen, like they thought one moment on their part would set my blade in motion again.

Boramir gulped loudly, his eyes bugging out of his head, and he whispered almost soundlyless, in utter disbelief, one word: "How?..."

"I'm a Ranger, that's how. Now, I think you've learned your lesson for the night. Never underestimate someone. That could be the last thing you ever do. Oh, and also...get some respect for women!"

He stuttered out something and everyone sighed in relief when I lowered my sword from his throat.

Then, casually sliding it back into its sheath, I turned to the hobbits, and asked cheerily, "How's dinner coming along?"


	6. Crebain from Dunland!

Hey y'all! Enjoy!

 **Sapphire:**

It turned out that dinner was slightly burnt. Alright, VERY burnt... And it was my fault, because the hobbits had forgotten to watch the food while it was cooking, being distracted by my display with Boramir and all.

I chewed on my burnt sausage thoughtfully, and tried to ignore the silent stares aimed my way. Gandalf broke the uncanny silence by saying, "Well, Sapphire, my friend, it is certain now, that you are what you say. A female Ranger you are indeed..."

I nearly snorted at how wrong he was, but I managed to keep it in. Legolas frowned ever so slightly, but I was the only one who noticed.

Aragorn was giving me these strange glances, and I hoped that he wasn't like, falling in love with me or something. He was freaking engaged already! Besides, I didn't even like scruffy men. Legolas was WAY hotter. And it was clear that the elf prince barely trusted me, and he certainly didn't LIKE me! He was disturbed by me! Just great...

Boramir had resumed training the hobbits, and I sat watching, as the sun slowly began to descend.

"One, two, three, four. Good!" Boramir was saying to the hobbits, as they did their best to deflect his blows. He was actually praising the hobbits, after what I had done to him. I had actually taught the dude respect! I grinned, very proud of myself indeed.

Then, just as in the movie, he accidently grazed Pippin's hand with his wickedly sharp blade, and Pippin cried out in anger and shock. The hobbit's immediate response was to slug Boramir in the gut, as hard as he possibly could with those flimsy little arms. Boramir recoiled, and the two troublemaker friends took advantage of this, simultaneously tackling the man.

They wrestled with him, tried to keep the much stronger man to the ground, and Pippin cried, "Get him!"

Merry responded, "FOR THE SHIRE!"

I giggled, and Aragorn chuckled as he looked on as well. Suddenly, I remembered what happened next. My eyes turned to the sky, and Frodo followed my gaze to the "wisp of cloud"

"What's that?" he asked the person nearest to him, which happened to be Gimli. Gimli raised his eyebrows, and giving the hobbit a strange look, said confusedly, "What? That? That's just a wisp of cloud!"

"Traveling fast, and against the wind..." muttered Boramir. And when he said that, I couldn't help myself. I was scared that Legolas wouldn't react fast enough, and they would see us. They did have good eyes, being birds and all. Before I could stop the words from slipping out of my mouth, I had shouted,

"Crebain from Dunland! Hide!"

Unfortunately, Legolas shouted out the alarm at the exact same time as me, our voices becoming one for a second. As everyone dove for cover, we looked at each other in shock. Well, I wasn't really shocked, but he certainly was.

We ended up in the same bush, with Frodo and Gimli as well. Frodo was pressed up against my shoulder tightly by Gimli, who barely could squeeze into the bush. And that of course, squished me up against Legolas. Awkward...

My left shoulder was pressing up against his back, my cheek lodged up against his quiver and bow as he peered out of the bush, watching the ugly black birds fly over. A second passed, before we both shifted uncomfortably, trying to make more room between us.

Finally the Crebain left, and everyone let out sighs of relief.

"It is safe now," Legolas breathed, and we clambered out the bush. The others emerged from behind various rocks and bushes nearby, brushing the dirt and leaves from their clothes. Pippin grimaced, and pulled a rather large spider from his hair as he emerged from a rock outcropping with Sam and Aragorn.

That night, we slept under rock outcroppings just to be safe, and Legolas took first watch. I crawled under a one of the ledges with Pippin and Sam, knowing they would be the easiest to sneak away from. I also made sure that they were a good ways away from where Legolas was keeping watch.

That night, I forced myself to stay awake until everyone had fallen asleep but Legolas, and then crept out from under the rock overhang. I had stolen a shirt, sewed the bottom shut, and filled it to the brim with food, and put it in my bag. Tada! Now Julia would have an impromptu bag. I also had swiped an extra bedroll for her, and managed to get my hands on two elvish daggers.

Once a little ways away, I whistled the four note tune, and a few moments later, it was repeated. Good.. They had made it safely...

The three emerged the brush, and a boulder nearby stood up and shook itself off.

"Did you bring food?! I'm absolutely starving!" cried Julia, and I shoved the shirt full of food into her hands. She stuffed two rolls in her mouth instantly, and I laughed, "Slow down, you're going to give yourself a stomachache. You have to ration it, we're going to be walking for a long time..."

"You mean, I'M going to be walking for a long time," grunted Peter.

"Oh, right, I forgot you were going to carry them..."

"Yeah, turns out, wargs can go really, really fast!" said Julia, grinning madly.

"Well, it's cool, as long as you guys are able to keep up alright. Oh, and Torzhug, Jewel, I managed to swipe some elvish daggers for you guys," I said, handing them both a shiny blade.

"Sweet! I've always wanted to have a real knife!" cried Julia, twirling the blade and nearly chopping off her thumb.

"Careful with that!" I warned, "Only use it if you absolutely have to,"

"Oh, right," Julia said glumly, putting the knife in the sheath I had stolen with. Tyler did the same, and then I was off, headed back to the others.

As I crept back under the rocky overhang, Aragorn suddenly called out from behind me, "And what might you be doing, wandering around at night?"

I winced. I had forgotten to check if it was still Legolas on guard. Aragorn was sitting in a different spot, hidden in the shadows. I attempted a smile, "I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk."

I was surprised at how calm I sounded, and it seemed to convince Aragorn.

"I see...I would warn you against wandering alone at night though. If you were to fall in a hole, or be ambushed by wild beasts, we would not know of it until it was too late. It would be wise to stay with the group."

"I suppose... You need not worry about me though... Do remember, I have traveled alone all the way from the lands South of Gondor, alone."

Aragorn chuckled, "How could I forget? Forgive me, my lady, the idea of a woman becoming a Ranger is still foreign to me."

"It's fine, I get that a lot," I said, "If you don't mind, I think I might be able to sleep now. Wake me when it's my watch."

Aragorn nodded, and I snuggled back into my bedroll. The second I shut my eyes I was out cold.

 **Sapphire:**

Needless to say, I slept like a rock. When I woke, it was morning, and I realized that Aragorn had did my watch.

I yawned loudly, and trudged out. Sam was preparing a cold meal, and Aragorn was waking Frodo. Then, I realized something very important. Okay, not really, but it was going to be a pain to wake up Merry and Pippin, if they didn't smell breakfast cooking. So I snatched two rolls, went back to where Merry and Pippin were still zonked out, and plopped the rolls down right in front of their noses.

Half a second later, the hobbits were up, gobbling up the rolls like they hadn't eaten in a week.

"Is this it? I can't live on a roll a day!" cried Pippin, and I sighed, "There's more outside Pippin, those were just to wake you up."

"Good, because I'm starved," said Merry, and the pair ran out to gobble more food.

We pretty much just had bread and some salted meat strips, because everything else would have to be cooked, and we didn't want the Crebain to see the smoke from a fire. So, in general, breakfast was pretty miserable, and freezing. We were nearing the mountains, and the road ahead was starting to slope upwards. We were headed to the pass of Caradhras, which, unfortunately, I knew wouldn't work. Julia and I had silently agreed that they wouldn't even bother, and would just stay at the bottom waiting for us to come back. I wished I could do the same, but how could I possibly not come?

I sighed, dreading the long and pointless trudge through loads of snow. This was going to suck...


	7. Caradhras is Officially a Jerk

Thanks for reading everyone. Also, in response to a guest review, I try to update several times a week, but it really depends on how much I like the story. So far, I really love this story, so you might get, like three posting in a day on a weekend day, and like one posting during the school week. Idk, just depends on how long my day is... Enjoy!

 **Sapphire:**

After eating our meager breakfast we set off again. A whole uneventful day passed. No one really spoke except to grunt out "We stop here," and "Keep up,"

That night, we arrived at the foot of Caradhras. And what did you know, there wasn't even a path. Just snow as far as the eye could see. We curled up in our bedrolls, knowing we were going to be cold for a very long time after this endeavor.

The next morning dawn cold and crisp, and a light snowfall had blanket our camp in white powder. I opened my eyes and found tiny ice crystal lining my nose and eyes, and when I sat up to see if anyone else was up yet, a thin sheet of ice cracked and slid off of my covers. I shivered, dreading just standing up, but I forced myself to remove the covers. Then, I had an idea. Why hadn't the fellowship just wrapped their blankets around themselves for extra warmth? I mean, they were certainly not clothed appropriately for cold weather, and a blanket was just another layer. So instead of getting out of my blankets, I just wrapped them both around me. They were thin, but they were better than nothing.

You see, our bedrolls were just two blankets. That was it. No padding, no nothing. My back was already sore just from two nights.

I trudged over to where Aragorn was tending a small fire. Apparently being a Ranger meant you could make fires not smoke, because this one was not letting off anything. Of course, it also provided about as much warmth as a few blankets. You couldn't exactly cook anything on it.

Everyone was huddled around the flickering pathetic flames, trying to keep warm. They looked up when I trudged over wrapped in my bedroll.

"Why are you wrapped in your bedroll, my Lady?" asked Legolas. The elf didn't have a single goose-bump and appeared to be perfectly warm.

"Because I'm cold...You probably wouldn't know what that is though..." I grumbled, shifting my blankets around to cover my legs better.

Everyone laughed when all of the hobbits ran to get their blankets as well.

"Brrrrr!" said Pippin, shaking like a leaf. All four huddled up in a mish-mosh of blankets and curly haired heads.

"I think...it is a good idea..." muttered Boromir, shuffling off all stiff legged to go get his blanket as well. Aragorn followed suit, and the two men looked very strange all wrapped up in blankets, waddling around like demented penguins. I had to hold in a laugh when Gimli grunted, "I'll not be walking with a bedroll wrapped round me, thank you very much!"

Legolas didn't speak, his gaze slipping from tree to tree, looking for any unusual signs. I sighed sadly. Legolas would never pay attention to someone like me... I was a human girl, not to mention I was a muscle bound freak. My crazy dreams about Legolas falling in love with me were just that...crazy dreams...

After eating another meager breakfast, we were on our way up the mountain. Soon enough, we were pushing through mounds of snow and fighting intense winds. Darn it Sarumon, you jerk face!

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Frodo take a tumble, and a flash of gold against the snow. Aragorn ran after the rolling, screaming hobbit and managed to stop him from going any further, but Frodo was not who I was worried about right now.

"Where's the Ring?!" cried Frodo, and everyone's eyes turned to Boromir. I saw Boromir look down at the ground, and start to lean over, and I made a split-second decision.

"Agh!" I screeched, pretending to hit a soft part, and tripping carefully over my own feet, I sent myself rolling straight into Boromir. With a thump, I hit the man, who gave a startled cry as he started rolling along with me. We ended up in a tangled heap near Aragorn and Frodo.

"Get off of me!" grunted Boromir, rolling me off of his stomach.

What nobody realized I had done intentionally, was grab at the snow and end up with a handful of powder, and also the Ring.

"Where did the Ring go?!" cried Frodo in anguish, and I stood, brushing the snow from my hair, and handed Frodo the ring on its chain, half embedded in a snowball.

"Here you go," I said with a smile, ruffling the hobbit's hair much more affectionately than Boromir did in the movie. Frodo gaped back up at me, then smiled a little. I winked and turned to Boromir, who was brushing the snow off his clothes while staring confusedly at the Ring, and then questioningly at me. I think I even saw a bit of relief, but it might have just been my imagination.

Then we were marching again, through the snow, snow, and more snow... Oh, Joy...

Since I was expecting it, I figured I would hear Sarumon's chanting first, but Legolas apparently had better ears than I thought. He paused, listening to the howling winds, and cried, "There is a fell voice on the wind!  
Gandalf cursed and yelled back, "It is Sarumon!"

I remembered to pull close to the cliff wall as soon as he said that, and I was glad I did, because a millisecond later, boulders and tons of snow came crashing down the mountain. We managed to dodge everything, and Gandalf cried out as a bolt of lightning hit the highest peak, "He is trying to bring down the mountain!"

"We must turn back!" cried Aragorn. "No!" Gandalf bellowed, and started chanting a counter-curse.

I flattened against the cliff face again, just in time too. A humongous rock hit the small ledge above us and glanced off, triggering a miniature avalanche to be dumped on us.

Snow filled my nose, ears, and mouth, and I tried to hold my breath for as long as I could. Then, a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the mound of snow.

"Thanks!" I gasped, as Aragorn moved on to the next person buried in the snow.

"If we stay any longer, the hobbits will die!" said Boromir. "We must turn back!"

"And where will we go?!" asked Legolas exasperatedly.

"There is...another path we might attempt..." said Gandalf slowly.

"The Mines of Moria..." muttered Aragorn darkly.

"Yes! My cousin Balin will give us a royal welcome!" grunted Gimli happily. I sighed inwardly, knowing his cousin Balin was not going to be giving anyone a royal welcome, since he was dead.

"We should make for the Gap of Rohan!" cried Boromir.

"No! That path leads us too close to Isengard!" yelled Gandalf, trying to be heard over the howling winds.

"I will not go into the mines unless everyone but me will!" stuttered Boromir anxiously. Fear and anger were written clearly on his face. He did NOT want to go into the mines.

"Let the Ringbearer decide!" Gandalf yelled back. Every eye turned to Frodo, and the poor hobbit stuttered nervously, "I uh..."

Frodo took a deep breath, gulped and said courageously, "We will go through the mines."

"So be it..." said Gandalf darkly, and we were off, going down the mountain as quickly as we could.

Apparently that wasn't quickly enough for the mountain, because the wind kept pounding snow onto us, just as fiercely as before.

"Enough, enough! We are departing as quickly as we may!" cried Gimli angrily. The wind died down, and the snow stopped falling. The sun came out, and pretty soon, we were back to where we had camped, exhausted and defeated.

I groaned, turned back toward the mountain, and proceeded to flip it off. I grinned, hoping Sarumon had seen that in his Palintir. Well, even if he did, he wouldn't know what it meant...But I did, and that was enough for me.

We pretty much passed out after that. It was time to brave the long dark of Moria... Gee, I couldn't wait!


	8. Speak Friend and Enter

Please, please, pretty please, leave a review, tootle-loo! ;D

 **Aragorn:**

Aragorn already missed Arwen... He might never see her face again...He almost wished she had not given him the Evenstar, so she could go to the undying lands. At least then she would remember him alive, and the world still with hope left.

If she stayed, she would only stay to hear the news of his death, and even if the deaths of the Ringbearer and his companions meant the saving of Middle Earth, she would not see the goodness of the world again. She would only fade into pain and misery, and eventually, death...

Aragorn was not afraid of death...If Arwen honored her promise to him, which he knew she would, death would eventually reunite them once more.

But he would fight, so as to meet her again in the light, in life. It was almost too much to hope for, but hope he did. That hope was like a fire burning bright in his soul; a bright flame that could never be extinguished. Perhaps that was why they called him Estel, elvish for Hope...

 **Sapphire:**

The next morning, I woke very early. Nobody was up but whoever was on guard. I think it was Gimli's watch, but it might have been Legolas or Boromir's watch. Heck, I didn't have a clue whose watch it was. Apparently they still didn't trust me to keep watch, because I had been left to sleep yet again... Although, maybe they felt that I deserved the sleep, after plowing a path through the snow for the hobbits.

I stood and quietly looked around our little camp. I saw Legolas, crouched on a small slab of rock, his keen eyes surveying the shadows. I decided I could only get his attention in one way...

I carefully snuck up on his, shifting to the right the entire time so as the stay out of his sweeping line of vision.

His ears twitched a little as I crept forward, but he didn't seem to notice. I had lots of practice with this, so I was pretty good at sneaking up on people. I was about three strides away from him now...

"And what might you be doing, my lady?" Legolas asked out of the silence, still facing the other way. I jumped in surprise, and ended up slipping on wet leaves and landing on my butt on a flat rock.

"Ow..." I muttered, and Legolas let out an airy laugh.

"Doggone it Legolas! It's no fair! You're just too good!" I pouted.

Legolas turned to look at me, and smirked ever so slightly, "Elves have keen ears."

The commotion had woke Aragorn, and he woke the others. Soon, everyone was gathered in a small circle around a tiny, smokeless fire.

"The Mines of Moria are a dark path to tread..." muttered Aragorn darkly.

"They must truly be evil if they're worse than Caradhras..." muttered Merry, grumpily gnawing on a cold sausage.

We walked until the sun was directly overhead, and finally we reached the flat wall...Hopefully, my plan had worked, and the others were long since in the Mines. Otherwise, they would be stuck on this side of the mountains. Which would mean I would never see them again...

I looked around to see if they had left any signs while Gandalf tried every opening word he could think of.

I whipped around when Boromir chucked a rock into the lake out of boredom. Aragorn grabbed his wrist before he could throw another one, and hissed, "Do not disturb the water!" Boromir rolled his eyes and slumped back down dejectedly.

"Ah! I give up! It is hopeless!" cried Gandalf, throwing down his staff in anger. It clattered on the stones, and that was when I saw it. Our gang logo. Two fancy Ms, scratched into the ground with a blade.

I grinned. My friends had made it! I wanted to scream out in happiness and relief. Thank goodness! And using the gang logo, that was smart! Clever Tyler, always thinking on another level...

"What is Lady Sapphire smiling about?" grunted Gimli to Aragorn.

"Hush, Gimli, she is thinking," whispered Aragorn.

"About what though?!" grumbled the dwarf.

"Master Dwarf, to answer your question, I was merely remembering happy times with my close friends back home," I said with a kind smile.

"Oh... That's...um...good..." stuttered the dwarf, not sure what exactly to say to that.

"I wonder...the door says, speak friend and enter..." I murmured, "Speak friend and enter...Speak Friend and enter...That's it!" I yelled, pretending to have just come up with the answer.

"What?! Have you figured out the password?!" cried Gimli excitedly.

"I think so! I think it's a play on words! It doesn't mean to speak the password if you are a friend, it means to literally SAY the word friend!"

Gandalf gave a cry upon hearing this, "Of course! How could I not have seen that! Mellon!"

And without a sound, the door slid back to reveal a pitch black tunnel.

Gandalf smiled at me, "My lady, already you prove your worth!"

I grinned back, and then turned to the fellowship, "Okay, looks like we'll be going single file for a while...Who's going to be behind Gandalf?"

Sam sent off Bill with a sad smile, and then we filed into the tunnel in this order: Gandalf, Boromir, Gimli, Legolas, Pippin, Merry, Me, Sam, Frodo, Aragorn. I made sure I was close enough to Frodo to be able to get out and slice tentacles in time.

"Roaring fires! Malt beer!" Gimli was babbling to Legolas, as Gandalf's staff flickered to life at his spell.

A faint glow cast shadows over the stone walls, creepy shadows of the skeletons grinning eerily from the floor. Arrows stuck out of some, swords and spears out of others.

Gimli was still babbling, completely oblivious to the death around him, "And to think, they call this a mine! A MINE!"

Boromir and Legolas looked around in horror, and Boromir whispered, "This is no mine...it's a tomb..."

Gimli stopped mid-sentence, and finally took a look at his surroundings. His face contorted in shock, his eyes widening till they were the size of cantaloupes, and he gasped, "What?! No! No!"

Legolas broke an arrow off a skeleton, took one look at it, and said one hate filled word, "Goblins..."

On cue, a boom shook dust from the ceiling above. Another boom followed, and the fellowship remained frozen in shock. BOOM...

"What is that?" Merry squeaked in fear, and that seemed to wake everyone out of their trance.

"Drums! It's drums!" cried Legolas is horror.

"Out! Get out! Make for the Gap of Rohan!" screamed Boromir, and everyone rushed to obey his command, not even bothering to check with Gandalf.

Three...Two...One...

The second Frodo was at the doorway, something flashed near his legs and Frodo was knocked to the ground.

"AHHHH! ARAGORN!" he screamed in fear, scrabbling at the rocky ground uselessly as a slimy tentacle dragged him towards the water.

Aragorn's head whipped around, just as Frodo went sliding past him. The other four hobbits then jumped on top of the tentacle and pounded it with their puny fists, rocks, and Sam was whacking it with a metal pot.

I sighed, drew my knife, and severed the tip of the tentacle with a swift downward stroke. The tentacle oozed black blood, and retreated.

The second it disappeared under the water, everything seemed to explode. What seemed like hundreds of tentacles burst out of the water and launched themselves straight at us.

"Back into the Mines! Run!" bellowed Gandalf, severing a few tentacles with his sword before running back into the black tunnel. I hacked off a tentacle that was going after Frodo. Then I spun around, grabbed Merry and Pippin, flung the little hobbits over my shoulders and took off sprinting into the mines.

I made it just in time. The Watcher ripped the stone door to pieces and with a thunderous crash, the whole wall collapsed. Dust and debris spewed everywhere, and we were left in the dark, coughing and choking. But I was alive...

"Is anyone injured?!" cried Aragorn, and then added, "Gandalf, a little light please!"

Gandalf's staff flickered once, and light shone on everyone's filthy, scratched up faces. Aragorn looked like he had just taken a ride in a washing machine full of cats, and everyone else was not much better off.

"We must face the long dark of Moria..." said Gandalf dejectedly, "Be on your guard. Older and fouler things than orcs dwell in the deep places of the world."

"Gee, I can't wait to meet them!" I said with a snort. Gandalf ignored me and continued, "It is a three day journey to the other side...Let us hope our presence will go unnoticed."

I snorted again, and Gandalf gave me a harsh look that clearly said, "Whatever you know, don't tell the hobbits. You'll just scare them."

He didn't need to worry. I wasn't about to tell the hobbits that there was a giant flaming demon waiting for them at the other end of the mines.


	9. Drunk Elves and Whiny Goblins

Thanks for reading this story! Leave a review, it means so much to me! :D Thanks for following TEENWOLFISAWESOME. Lol, all caps username is so fab... xD Enjoy!

 **Torzhug:**

It had been a whole day... A whole day we had been trudging through the small tunnels. Three times we had to slowly push and pull Peet along a stretch of tunnel because he was too big. And here was another small section...

"Oh come on! Not another one!" groaned Peter, and Julia echoed his groan.

"Suck in your gut," I said with a heavy sigh. Thankfully, this section was short...

We emerged in a large area, on a small stone path over a deep abyss. I was glad I wasn't scared of heights... Unfortunately, Julia was mortally terrified of heights.

"Gahhh!" she screeched, and I clapped my still unfamiliar hand to her mouth.

"Sorry, I forgot I have Orc hands now..." I muttered.

"Tyler," Julia said, forgetting her fear and turning deadly serious, "Be yourself, and don't let this change you. It's me who needs to be accepting of you, not the other way around..."

"Alright..." I stuttered, stunned that my girlfriend had just started spouting wisdom like a therapist or something. I love Julia, she is shy, and scared of practically everything, but she always knows what to say when it matters most...

She smiled, and took my hand again, her soft fragile hand cupped in my large, rough one.

"Let's ride for a while, shall we?" I said with a slight smile.

"I'd love to," she replied, and I swung myself onto Peet's back, offering her my hand. She took it, and I easily lifted her up to sit in front of me.

A while later, we came upon three tunnels. This was the part where Gandalf forgot where he was going... And I couldn't remember which tunnel it was... SHOOT!

"Which one is it Torzhug?" asked Peter.

"I don't remember!" I cried in anguish.

"Oh no..." whispered Julia.

"Don't worry, I'll remember it," I assured her.

"No, someone's coming!" she hissed, and I panicked. Goblins! Soon enough torchlight and pounding of feet could be heard from the tunnel on the right.

"Quick, we need a plan!" Julia hissed, and I racked my brain for possibilities. We could try to hide behind Peet, but we had no clue which way they were headed. If we chose wrong, they would run straight into us... A half baked plan slowly formed in my mind.

"Okay, I have a plan, stay calm. All you have to do is growl if they threaten us, and Jewel, all you have to do is act drunk and stupid," I whispered.

"Um why?" she asked.

"Just do it!" I hissed, and Julia complied, slumping forward on Peet's neck like she was passed out.

A solitary goblin came out of the tunnel, carrying a torch. He yelped when he saw us, dropping his torch which went out with a _hiss._

Our torch illuminated his frightened face, and I grunted, "What are you doing? Shouldn't you be in your places? Trust a goblin to mess everything up! Scram!"

"I won' be doin' that til' ya tell me what YER doin' down here!" replied the ugly little goblin in a whiny voice, regaining his composure and standing tall and proud.

"On orders of Sarumon, I am to aid you idiots,"

"How?" whined the goblin. He had a very irritating nasal squeak, and sounded like a whiny kindergartener, "And why ya got an elf with yer? And a...a nasty warg!" asked the whiny goblin

"I wouldn't think you numskulls would understand," I taunted him, knowing I was pushing it.

"You Orcs have yer heads stuff' full of Balrog dung!" squeaked the goblin, "Why ya got the elf? Answer the question, or are ye too stupid?"

I growled in the back of my throat, and Peet joined in with me.

"The elf is poisoned and she's got no weapons," I growled, "I was instructed to leave her in the chamber where YOU plan on attacking the group that will be coming through here shortly,"

"Yer talkin' er lot for an Orc. You bigger too. Yer Uruk-hai scum?"

I growled again, surprised at how guttural and ferocious I sounded, "Uruk-hai, yes, but you're the scum here. If you really need that much explaining, the group coming wouldn't just leave an elf to perish. She'd be a burden to them, making it all the more easy for you to kill them."

The goblin frowned, and then the rest of the goblins came filing in, endless rows of five goblins. Ten of them were holding chains to restrain a cave troll. The cave troll that would attack the fellowship. Just great.

"Was goin' on here, Gurlp?" asked a big meaty one in the front.

"This here orc says he here ter help us. He Uruk-hai from Sarumon. Says Sarumon tell him ter poison sum elf, and leave it fer the fellership ter find, and that helps us killin' the fellership. Do yer thank he's tellin' us the truh?"

"I durn no, Gurlp. But we bet' not mess with Sarumon, I hear he doing nasty thinks to goblins that not followin' his orders..."

"That's smart on your part," I said, "I need one more thing. Which way do I need to go to get to the room?"

"That way, Orc scum. That way'll take yer to the place you tryin' to get to," said one of the orc, pointing at the left tunnel with a gnarled finger.

I grunted in thanks, figuring Orcs wouldn't say thank you, and made Peet head down the tunnel. The others went the way we had come, and then went around a corner and headed down. We stayed in the shadows until they had left, and then Julia whispered excitedly, "Tyler, that was brilliant!"

I would have blushed, if an orc could blush that is. We headed off down the steeply sloping tunnel. Wait, why was this tunnel going down so much? Shouldn't we be going up?!

We realized our mistake to late. They had tricked us...

The tiles went from steep to a straight drop, and Peet scrabbled to gain purchase on the slick stone with his claws.

We teetered on the edge for a second, holding our breath, and then we toppled off, screaming the entire way.

The fall was very long...With a painful thump at the bottom, we landed on something leathery and stiff. Leathery, stiff...and hot...

Molten red eyes of fire opened mere inches from my face, and I screamed.

We had crash landed on the freaking Balrog...


	10. A Cave Troll Backhands me Across a Room

Thanks for following, Laurelin Greenleaf! OH. MY. ARTICHOKES. I've never heard that expression before, but it made me crack up! Well, you don't have to wait any longer to find out what happens to Torzhug, Jewel, and Peet. Oh wait, yeah you do... :3 Please leave a review! Have an epic day, and enjoy this chapter.

 _What Peter, Tyler and Julia don't realize is that they were not at the place that Gandalf did not remember. In fact, they were ages from it. They had gone straight the entire way, assuming that was what the fellowship did in the book. But little did they know that they had been zig-zagging around and going in circles for a long time. They were in the Balrog's lair now, and their friends had just arrived at Balin's tomb._

 **Sapphire:**

After two and a half days of wandering in the dark, we finally came upon the chamber where I knew the tomb of Balin was. Between the open doors light shone from the single opening to the outside air.

And I wondered why the heck they hadn't just gone out the hole. I mean, that would be the obvious solution right? Orcs or goblins would be too dumb to figure out where they had gone for quite a long time, and by the time they came out after them, the fellowship would be long gone...

But of course, Gandalf had to fall to get his power upgrade and whatnot. xD power upgrade. Video gaming mind strikes yet again...

Suddenly, a thunderous roaring noise came from far below, and everyone froze. Then I spoke, hoping to fix whatever damage my friends had done to the plotline, "Just rocks falling."

"No, Lady Sapphire. Some creature, of terrible power." said Legolas.

"Perhaps a cave troll." I suggested.

"That is very likely. It is nothing to worry about," said Gandalf, but I could tell he knew very well that it wasn't a cave troll. He was lying so as to not scare the fellowship.

That was when Gimli spotted the tomb. "No...no...no...NO!" he bellowed, raced forward as fast as his stubby dwarf legs would carry him. I felt bad for the guy, it was obvious that he had been close to his cousin.

"It is as I feared," Gandalf murmured sadly as he pulled an extremely dusty book out of a skeleton's grasp. He gently opened it and blew the dust off. Pippin suddenly sneezed louder than I thought possible, and everyone froze. To everyone's immense relief, there was only silence.

"Sorry!" Pippin squeaked, and I gave him a sympathetic smile as Gandalf glared at him.

"Hey, it could have happened to anyone," I said, and Gandalf cleared his throat.

"Drums. Drums in the deep," he read ominously, "We cannot get out. The way is blocked. They are coming. We cannot get out."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Pippin picking up an rusty dagger. He peered at it, and then down on a ledge. To everyone's horror, it slid off, hit a skeleton in metal armor, and knocked it all the way down the stairs with tremendous crashing. When the echoes faded, everyone let out a sigh of relief, and Gandalf turned to Pippin angrily, "Fool of a Took! Throw yourself down the steps next time and rid us of your stupidity!"

"Again, it could have happened to anyone. I think Pippin's just got bad luck," I told Gandalf.

"Let us pray to the Valar that somehow went unheard..." Boromir muttered grumpily. I unsheathed my sword anyways, and as if on cue, a _BOOM_ was heard in the deep.

"You just HAD to say that..." I grumbled, and another _BOOM_ sounded. The thumps of marching feet could be heard from the open doorway, and Boromir stuck his head out only to jerk back as an arrow nearly impaled itself in his eye. A roar echoed down the hall and as Boromir started barricading the door, he announced in awe, "They have a cave troll!"

"You think?" I asked sarcastically tossing him an axe to bar across the door.

"I saw the foul beast!" he cried angrily, thinking I didn't believe him, and I sighed, "I was being sarcastic."

"You were what?" he asked as he lodged more weapons in the door handles.

"Nevermind Boromir," I groaned, throwing a skeleton in front of the door for good measure. Who knew, maybe the stupid goblins would trip over it.

"There's still one dwarf in Moria who draws breath!" Gimli cried, hefting his battle axe. Aragorn and Legolas had their bows trained on the door, ready to fire the second they burst. For a second, there was silence.

"This is fairly nerve racking hmm?" I whispered to Gimli, and he grinned. Then a disgusting disfigured arm tore easily through the rotting door, and Legolas loosed his first arrow. The arm and arrow retreated back through the wood, and then the cave troll knocked down the entire door in one whack. Well...whole lot of good that barricading did...

Instantly, we were swarmed by goblins. The cave troll was coming at us pretty quickly with his giant mace thing, and I registered that I had about a half of a second before he was on top of me. I had to move. Unfortunately, a goblin jumped me, and left me no choice but to thrust my sword into his gut. Now I was weaponless. Just great. Five more goblins eagerly came after me, and I decided to improvise.

I apologized quietly as I picked up a decayed body, hoping it would stay together long enough to serve its purpose, and swung it as hard as I could. The goblins all got skeleton legs to the face, and the momentum flung the whole body, minus a head, straight into the cave troll. Now I was standing with a skull in my hand. I shrugged, and bashed the next goblin in the head. Huh...That wasn't part of the plan, but it worked.

Yet another goblin lunged at me, and as I danced out the reach of its blade, I noticed I was awfully close to the cave troll again. The hideous thing was chasing the hobbits around the room. He was bearing down on Frodo, and my protective instincts took over. I yelled angrily, and picking up a goblin sword, threw it at the thing's head. And guess what that did? Absolutely nothing, other than make it mad. And mad cave trolls apparently backhand you across rooms.


	11. A Familiar Face

Next chapter Yay! Thanks for following/favoriting/reviewing anyone who did because I'm too lazy to say your names lol. Hope you enjoy.

 **Sapphire:**

I think every bone in my body was broken. The air was driven from my lungs and pain flared in my head. Sticky, hot blood ran into my eyes and mouth from a deep cut on my forehead and my heavily bleeding nose, most likely broken. I vaguely remembered the thing's meaty fist coming toward my face, and me shrieking like a five year old. I remembered seeing Aragorn look up out of the corner of my eye and start running toward me, but he was too slow. I was going to die, because this wasn't some crafted up fan fiction story where everyone lives happily ever after.

Or maybe it was my lucky day. My vision was slowly returning, and I could see Aragorn's blurry outline thrust a spear into the thing's chest. I grimaced when the thing roared, and Aragorn got the backhand treatment as well. I didn't see what happened next, and the roaring in my ears was too loud to make anything out, but I guessed that the thing had just stabbed Frodo. I heard Merry and Pippin yelling faintly, and then the troll stumbled back into my line of vision, with hobbits clinging to it. Merry got tossed off, and Pippin stabbed the thing in its skull. It roared, a very bad move, and an arrow stabbed through the roof of its black mouth and into its puny brain. With a painfully jarring thud, it crashed to the floor.

I was disappointed when no one even noticed me, just rushed for Frodo. The ringing in my ears finally subsided enough for me to hear Gandalf say, "There's more to this hobbit than meets the eye."

Using all the energy left in me, I managed to groan. Yes, that was all I could do. I couldn't even wipe the blood and grit out of my eyes. I heard cries of horror from multiple members of the fellowship, and Aragorn rushed to my side. He lifted rocks off of my chest that I couldn't even feel because I was so numb with pain, and called to Legolas, "Legolas, do you have any Athelas?"

"Always," Legolas replied and handed Aragorn the plant. Apparently Legolas had magic boots that kept Athelas fresh. What the heck?

Aragorn chewed the Athelas into a paste which he applied to my cut. He washed around the wound as best as he could, and soon enough, my head was wrapped in the cleanest cloth they could find. To my surprise, Aragorn then scooped me up like I weighed nothing, and we raced onwards. I mean, I knew they would have to carry me, but I clearly had a broken arm, and my head was still bleeding heavily. I was in no condition to be moved. You weren't supposed to move people with head injuries right? I suppose it was better than being left for the goblins obviously, but being carried still hurt like heck with my broken arm.

"Ow..." I groaned, and hissed every time Aragorn's foot made contact with the ground. You think you've felt pain? You haven't. This, my friend, was pain.

"Try to breathe my lady, holding your breath will do you no good," Aragorn said kindly to me, offering me water. I gulped it greedily. We came to the break in the stairs suddenly, and I saw Legolas jump across, then Gandalf, then Gimli, Merry, and Pippin. Arrows whizzed past us, and my cracked lips turned up into a small smile when one stuck itself in Gandalf's pointy was tremendous cracking and crashing noises, but I was still only half aware of my surroundings. My head was on fire, and the only thing I could think was that they should have left me behind. What if Aragorn and Frodo didn't make the jump because of my deadweight?

But they did, landing with a jarring thud, and I gasped as pure agony flared through my arm. And then I blacked out.

When I woke, pain flared through my entire body, and sunlight blinded me. The first thought that went through my mind?: Glad I didn't have to see the Balrog. Then I felt bad when I thought about Gandalf, and scolded myself.

"You are awake," Legolas commented, and I turned my head to look at him. We were on the rocks outside of Moria, and the hobbits were still crying about Gandalf.

I pushed myself up on one arm, and noticed that my other one had been set and was in a makeshift sling.

"We were afraid ye wouldn't wake. Glad to see ye looking lively again lassie," Gimli said with a grin that looked more like a grimace.

"We must move on. Can you walk Lady Sapphire?" Aragorn asked, and I nodded.

"Give them a moment for pity's sake!" Boromir said angrily, and Aragorn shook his head, "No. By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs."

I stood, and as we started walking ever on, I stayed in the back with the poor hobbits.

"Hey, Gandalf's an Istar. I'm sure it'll take more than just a measly fall to kill him," I said kindly to them, and they stopped bawling and stared at me in shock. Then I realized that everyone was staring at me in shock. And then I realized WHY they were staring at me in shock. Because I had been unconscious, how could I possibly know what had happened to Gandalf? I was a freaking idiot...

I managed to hide my distress and asked confusedly, "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"You were unconscious..." Boromir stated unsurely.

"I was semi-awake," I said hotly, attempting to cover my error.

Aragorn said something in rapid fire elvish to Legolas, and Legolas frowned. The elf said something back to Aragorn, and Aragorn replied after a moment's hesitation.

"Perhaps I am mistaken," Legolas said slowly, and Aragorn continued for him, "It matters not. We must move on."

I smiled at the hobbits and Frodo asked quietly, "Did you mean what you said? About Gandalf not being gone?"

"Of course. He can't be dead. He's Gandalf for goodness sake!" I told him, and the four hobbits smiled,

"If you really think so, I'll believe you Lady Sapphire," Frodo said, a hint of a smile actually spreading across his normally solemn features.

"Please, just call me Sapphire."

"Alright Sapphire." Frodo grinned up at me, and I saw Legolas giving me a strange look, probably wondering how I had cheered up the hobbits so quickly.

 **Legolas:**

Lady Sapphire was truly a puzzle. Legolas pondered over what he knew about the woman so far. She seemed to know much of Middle Earth and of certain people living here. She had come up with a clever story, but Legolas had known instantly that she was not who she said. She was lying when she said she was a Ranger, even a fool could tell that much. She was not accustomed to trekking through the wilderness, and she was unusually pale, hinting that she remained indoors for most of her time. Her clothes were strange, and exposed much more than a modest woman should, yet she did not seem to notice that her garb made the fellowship uncomfortable. The strangest thing was how broad and muscular she was for a woman. Legolas had never seen such a sight in all his days. He had also noticed that she talked quite differently than the others, though she was attempting not to. But the thing that troubled him most was the strange things she said and did; how she almost seemed to know what was coming. He had first noticed before they attempted the path of Caradhras. She had stowed most of her supplies in a bush when she thought no one was looking, as if she knew that their attempt to cross the mountains would fail. She had looked sadly at Gimli when he talked about his cousin Balin, and then she kept glancing at the water of the foul pool nervously. He had noticed that she didn't seem shocked when she saw all the death when they had first entered Moria, instead, she kept glancing back toward Frodo and the open doorway, her hand resting on the pommel of her sword. As if she had known the Watcher was about to attack the halfling.

How she kept casting sad glances in Gandalf and Boromir's directions...Like she was already mourning their deaths. And then Gandalf fell, and she knew of it even though she most certainly was unconscious.

Suddenly, Legolas thought of something: If she saw glimpses of the future, that might mean what she said to the halflings was not just kind words! She might have seen that Gandalf would return! This thought greatly improved his mood, and he almost managed to forget the last thought he wanted to mull over.

But alas, it sprung to the front of his mind like a deer leaping over a stream. One thought kept surfacing in his head, no matter how hard he tried to push it away: wondering at why he felt so different around her. He had been around other human women a few times, and had grown up among elvish maidens. Why then, did she make him feel so nervous? Was it the immodest clothing she wore? Legolas decided that must be it. That and the blunt manner in which she acted. Yes, that must be it.

 **Peet:**

Peter felt insulted.

The stupid Balrog hadn't even given a...a...a...a... _poop..._ that they had landed on it. It just roared and flicked its wings out, flinging them all down a tunnel into darkness. Peet groaned as his giant body hit the floor with a sickening thump, and Torzhug and Jewel landed safely on his black furred belly. He wondered why he had so much more fur than the average warg. It certainly did wonders for his looks though, plus his face looked more like a wolf's face than a warg's ugly snout from what he could tell from some random puddle. He rather enjoyed the feeling of the power in his muscled limbs and the ridiculous speed he could run at without tiring in the slightest.

They stayed absolutely still and waited to see what would happen. Peter prayed that the Balrog would ignore them and not try to smash its way into the smaller tunnel. Luckily for them, it just stormed off down a tunnel large enough for its huge span. Great... Now the dim light they had while the Balrog was there was non-existent. Out of the silence Torzhug cried out, "That's it! We can follow the Balrog and he will lead us to the exit!"

Soft footsteps were heard behind them and they whirled around. Suddenly, extremely bright light blinded them, and they gasped in pain.

"TYLER?!" A familiar voice cried raspily, and they all gasped as Tyler's deaf sister turned down the brightness in a kerosine lamp.

Oh my! A new character! Hooray! Review: whoever figures out what's happening to Legolas gets a cookie. LOLOLOLOLOL.


	12. Kohlrabi?

SOOOO sorry for not updating any of my fanfictions, but my mom made me catch up on all my darn schoolwork before I could TOUCH fanfiction. GRRR... SO HAPPY to be back on though! Thanks for following thethreebirds! 1261 views! YAHOOOOOOOO!

PS: 'This is sign language'

"This is common tongue/ English" Duh...

 _"This is elvish"_

ENJOY AND EAT POPCORN!

 **Torzhug:**

Apparently my sister Lauren hadn't been camping with mom at all. She had been in middle earth for three days now, and was quickly running out of water and rations. She had been trapped by the Balrog, and had abandoned all hope of getting free.

'I'm just so relieved that you found me! I would have been stuck down there forever!' Lauren signed rapidly to him, grinning immensely as they followed far behind the Balrog. The lantern wobbled and swung to Peet's loping stride and cast eerie shadows on the wide tunnel walls.

They heard Gandalf shouting "You shall not pass!" up ahead and the Balrog roaring. Torzhug motioned for them to wait where they were. When all was silent they continued; Peet easily jumping over the large gap. They peeked out of the opened exit, relieved to see sunlight once more, and Lauren grinned.

'I am so glad to see the sun!' she signed, and Torzhug grinned 'And I am glad that you are here.'

They continued on their merry way, even stopping once to share some chocolate bars in Lauren's camping pack.

'Yum! Thank you Lauren!' Jewel signed to his sister, and Peet just grinned with chocolate staining his maw. Lauren had been surprised at first when she learned that the orc she had seen was indeed Tyler, and her friend's little brother was a massive warg, but she had quickly adjusted. Hence why she was not chucking chocolate bars into Peet's mouth. He had already eaten ten, and at this rate there would be none left in less than five minutes.

'Alright, that's enough chocolate for one day...' Jewel scolded Lauren and the partially deaf girl zipped up her heavy camping bag. They set up the tiny two person tent with ease at what they hoped was a place hidden well from Lothlorien patrols. Peet curled up into a ball and almost seemed to vanish from sight, becoming a giant gray boulder. It was as if his fur was a different color on the inside so when he curled up the grayish undercoat was revealed. They turned in for the night, yawning immensely, and Torzhug wondered out loud, "What are we going to do all day tomorrow while the Fellowship is in Lothlorien?"

'Why are you following the Fellowship?' Lauren signed, and Torzhug grinned at his sister's uncanny ability to read lips.

'Sapphire is with them.' Jewel signed.

'Sapphire is here too?!' Laura signed excitedly, and then blazed through more questions, 'Is she a human still? Has she changed the plot at all? Is she planning on saving Boromir?'

'Whoa, slow down there sis, you're confusing Jewel,'

'You mean Julia?' Laura signed, and Torzhug grinned.

'Nope, we changed our names to be more Middle-Earthy! Call me Torzhug!'

'Cool! What's Peter's Middle-Earth name?' Lauren asked.

'Just Pete, but spelled P-E-E-T instead of P-E-T-E,' Jewel explained.

'Cool. Well... I'm pretty tired so I'm going to turn in for the night,' Laura signed with an exaggerated yawn.

'You want a M-E name?' Torzhug asked his sister.

'No, but thanks anyways.' Lauren signed and popped into the tent with Julia who had just turned on the kerosene lamp.

"Hey, Torzhug," Peet said as Torzhug leaned against him and gazed at the stars.

"Yeah?"

"I just thought of something...Both your sister and your girlfriend got turned into elves. Both Jewel's brother and her boyfriend got turned into monsters. Kind of weird right?"

Torzhug laughed, "Whatever you say Peet, whatever you say..."

He put his weird meaty hands behind his weird misshapen head and tried to get some sleep, but it just wouldn't come. Soon Peet's snores filled the night, and Torzhug still couldn't get what Peet had said out of his head. Jewel's little brother was right...There was something strange about that...strange and even slightly ironic.

 **Sapphire:**

"The Dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark." said Haldir with a smirk, his arrow tip a mere inch from Gimli's nose. I tried not to go cross eyed at the arrow pointed in my own face. I also tried not to laugh at Gimli's startled reaction to Haldir. Unfortunately I let out a snort, and half of the elves turned their arrows toward me.

"Whoa, geezum!" I cried, feeling all their eyes inspecting me, some with more than evident disgust. I held up my hands in surrender, "Can you PLEASE point your arrows some other direction. PLEASE?"

Haldir nodded to the other elves and they lowered their bows.

"What bring you here?" he asked Aragorn severely.

"We only wish to pass through. We will leave and go by another route if you wish." Aragorn said, refusing to give any more information.

"You will not leave. You will be taken to the lady of the golden wood. She will decide your fate."

He turned to the other elves, "Blindfold the dwarf."

Oh great... I had hoped they would do the movie version of this and leave out the whole blindfolding thing. Just my luck...

"What?!" Gimli cried, "This is nonsense! I will not subject to this!" An elf reached for him with the blindfold. Gimli growled and drew his axe, and in an instant all the elvish bows were trained on him. He glared at them and there was a moment of tense silence before Aragorn stepped forward, "If it makes you feel any better, we shall all be blindfolded with you."

Gimli grunted irritably, but put his axe back at his waist, "Even the elf?"

Legolas laughed, "Yes, Gimli."

I groaned and snatched a blindfold from a startled elf who was about to fasten it over my eyes. Tying it snugly around my head we started off, the elf checking to make sure I had tied it tightly. After a minute or two, I heard Frodo yelp and a muffled thump, and headed for the sound of his cry. I bumped into the little halfling getting back to his feet and scooped him up easily so he could sit on my shoulders.

"Thanks Sapphire!" he whispered, probably grinning largely.

"Don't tell Merry and Pippin," I warned him and he shook with quiet laughter.

I figured it was probably better for me to stub my toes which were protected in my tennis shoes than for the hobbits to stub their poor little hairy toes on any and every root in the whole gosh darn forest. Unfortunately I could only carry one midget at a time.

 **Jewel:**

'Blank to blank game,' Lauren signed because her raspy voice hurt her throat.

"Apples," I called out, and Lauren flipped up the next Taboo card. She had brought the Taboo game in her camping pack along with some cards and other party games.

Lauren screwed up her face in thought and before she could give her clue, Tyler called, "Times out!"

The partially deaf girl turned up her hearing aid. She was using her precious spare batteries to keep the device alive, and I knew she was dreading them running out. She would never hear anything again...

'Peter...I mean Peet, your turn,' Lauren signed.

"YAY!" Peet barked and Lauren turned the card for the human-turned-warg.

"Uh...Uh...What is kohlrabi?" Peet asked and Jewel snorted, "You would hate it; it's a vegetable."

"Aww... Minus one point," Peet groaned, and Lauren set the card on the ground beside the game box.

Lauren flipped the next card and Peet frowned and screwed up his snout.

"Hmm...Oh I know! Opposite of this funks you up!"

"Huh?" Torzhug asked. It was boys vs. girls. "Opposite of this...Oh! Uptown funks you up, so...Downtown?"

Peet grinned his toothy grin and Lauren flipped the next card.

"This one's easy! My favorite food ever!"

"Cupcakes" Torzhug said without any hesitation and everyone laughed.

"Times up!" Jewel called, and the box was passed to her. Peet took control of the buzzer.

"Ooh! Boromir has one of these!" Jewel cried and suddenly the buzzer went off... And kept going off...

Everyone stared at Peet who had practically crushed the buzzer under his huge paw.

"You have to be kidding me! Lauren wrote Boromir on the card! That's SOOOO not fair!" Jewel pouted. In tiny purple ink beneath the card, Boromir was written in neatly printed letters. Lauren was absolutely dorky.

'It's to make it more challenging!' Lauren signed defensively.

"Whatever, you're still a dork," Jewel said laughing, and then she turned around to face Peet "Can you please make that thing quit buzzing for goodness sakes!"

"Uh sure..." Peet said, and gave the thing another whack.

To their horror, it shut off, but not before letting out the loudest shriek and leaving them clutching their ears.

"Good God that was probably heard in Mordor! We've got to get out of here! Hurry! I'll pack the tent! Lauren can get the game packed!" Torzhug cried and they scrambled into action.


	13. Lothlorien and Minecraft Parodies

Thanks for reading this story! YAY! Also, before you read this story, it is required for you to watch these two minecraft videos. Thank you and enjoy!

watch?v=nJ5Anel-AgE

watch?v=3M67SRQIS88

 **Sapphire:**

Lothlorien was beautiful. I mean, not beautiful as in, oh you-look-so-beautiful-in-that-dress beautiful. No, it was SERIOUSLY-FREAKING-OH-MY-GODS-GORGEOUS! I literally wanted to die. I could live here, I really could. In fact, I made up my mind that I would come back here if I survived the quest. Then my heart sank when I remembered that Galadriel was leaving for the Undying Lands and it was the magic from her ring of power that sustained this place. Once it left this world, Lothlorien would fade...

Galadriel's beauty was badly represented in the movie, let me tell you...That woman was a knockout...She was also kind of scary...Her eyes seemed to stare into your soul, and then I remembered that she could actually do that...Yikes...Please don't read my deepest desires creepy lady! I like my privacy, thank you very much!

I was a little disappointed and a little relieved when Galadriel didn't say anything in my head. It was getting late, and I was still wandering around Lothlorien in a daze. Finally I settled down on the platform that Legolas, Aragorn and I were sharing. I had been offered one to myself, but I had declined. I knew that the others needed comforting and I had been hoping to be grouped with the hobbits. I supposed being grouped with Legolas was awesome, but I was uncomfortable around him. It's not like he could ever like me. I was a random human girl, and an ugly one at that. Kind of... Something had been happening to me recently. My rough lines had been smoothing out and my face that looked like it was chiseled carelessly out of stone was turning more...more...almost... _elvish..._ I could swear my ears were slightly more pointy...Just hopeful thinking though...Legolas would never notice me, and even if he did, Thranduil would probably literally kill any mortal that dared attract his son. I sighed and gazed up at the stars in thought, letting my legs dangled over the edge of the platform. Legolas was on the opposite side, listening sadly to the elvish singing. Aragorn pulled himself up onto the ledge and stood.

"They mourn for Gandalf," Legolas said softly.

"What do they say?" Aragorn asked.

"I do not have the heart to tell..." Legolas whispered.

Aragorn noticed me, "Lady Sapphire?"

"Hey, don't complain to me, I wanted to be put with the hobbits!" I said with a grin, and Aragorn raised an eyebrow, his eyes twinkling with silent laughter.

"Is that so?" he said, sitting down beside me. We sat in silence, listening to the sad song, and out of the corner of my eye I watched Aragorn stare at the stars mournfully.

 **Legolas:**

Legolas watched his friend grow sullen. He knew that though the man mourned the loss of the wizard and was worried about leading the fellowship, the ranger was really mourning the departure of his beloved. Legolas shook his head sadly; this was what happened when an elf fell in love with a mortal...It simply was not meant to be, and would only bring weeping and despair.

Sapphire suddenly spoke, "You're missing Arwen aren't you?"

Legolas was surprised. Most any mortal would think Aragorn was mourning the wizard. They would not realize that Aragorn couldn't force himself to believe that Mithrandir was gone. She was even wiser than he first believed.

Aragorn turned and nearly growled. He instinctively snapped, "None of your..."

He stopped himself and let out a long defeated sigh. "Yes..." He whispered, turning back with pain filled eyes.

Sapphire paused for a moment, apparently thinking, and then her eyes seemed to light up.

She edged over to Aragorn but the ranger did not acknowledge her.

To Legolas's surprise, she started to sing. Her voice was soft and beautiful, but with a hard edge like the whistling of a blade. She was also trying to mimic a strange accent that Legolas had never heard before.

"Well you only need a torch when the light is low..." she began quietly, putting her hand on Aragorn's shoulder. Aragorn turned and looked at her in surprise, and Legolas wondered if mortal women did not normally sing.

"Only need the sun when the monsters groan..." she sang, her voice growing slightly louder and her eyes glowing. Why had he never noticed her eyes? They were like pale silver moons resting on her chiseled face. In the starlight, Legolas realized she was as pretty as any elleth. He shook his head, what was he thinking?

She paused for effect, "Only know your lover when you let 'em go..."

His long time friend's resolve broke, a tear rolling like a silver bead down his cheek.

Sapphire stood up, and then suddenly powerful song burst from her lips like rolling thunder as she grabbed Aragorn's forearm and pulled the startled man to his feet, "She'll never let you goooo-ohhhhh-oh-oh-ohhh! She'll never let you goooo-ohhhhh-oh-oh-ohhh!"

Aragorn's eyes slowly widened and he gradually began to smile, and Legolas almost couldn't help but smile as well. She was pulling the man out of his heartbroken stupor! He wanted to laugh at her ingenuity as she began another verse, "Guess she'll take her one last chance to show... she'll never leave you lost and all alone...only know your lover when you let 'em go..."

She finished the song and Aragorn smiled gratefully, "What a strange song...You truly are a wonder Lady Sapphire. Thank you..."

"Anytime," she said with a laugh. "Oh, and that was actually my remake of a remake of a song, haha..."

"Pardon?" Legolas asked, and Sapphire's head whipped around to look at him. "Oh, Legolas, I forgot you were there..." she muttered, looking away embarrassedly and Legolas wondered why he bothered her. He supposed he might be a bit intimidating...Maybe he should smile more?

 **Sapphire:**

We said our goodnights, and I refused to look at Legolas. I was too tired to ask for any fresh clothes, besides, I knew they would have to be fitted. I certainly couldn't wear a dress, I would have to get hunting garments fitted by some elleth. That would not be fun, trying to find someone who could speak a considerable amount of English...common tongue...whatever... I would do all that and bathe tomorrow. Right now...I would sleep. Zzzzzzz...


	14. Boromir's Destiny

Now, for something to happen that didn't happen in the book. Because Boromir probably would have been placed with Aragorn and Legolas, had Sapphire not been there. WHO IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD PLACE BOROMIR WITH FRODO THOUGH? IDK... Ignorant elves? Enjoy!

 **Boromir:**

Boromir clenched his fists in worry. He was sitting beneath the tree where he had been placed with Frodo and Sam. Frodo was gone who knew where. That was probably what woke him. He could not stop thinking about Minas Tirith. The others were fools. They were delivering the Ring into the very hands of the enemy instead of using it to hold back the forces of Mordor...

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something to his left. There! A flash of white cloth and a bit of curly hair. He heard a quiet voice and then Frodo emerged from behind a tree and headed for the ladder.

Boromir stood silently and Frodo jumped a little, "Oh. Hello Boromir, I didn't see you there...Is something wrong?"

"No, you just woke me. Go on back to sleep," Boromir said, gesturing to the platform in the trees.

Frodo nodded, and hastily climbed the ladder. As soon as he was gone, Boromir quietly went to the place where he had last seen the flash of white. Frodo had been conversing with one of the elves, Galadriel or Celeborn most likely from the snow white of the cloth. But about what?

He came to a pathway and followed it for a short time until he reached a courtyard of stone. In the middle was a silver bowl of water filled to the brim. A small waterfall spilled into a pool on one side of the courtyard and a silver pitcher sat on the wall keeping the pool from spilling into the courtyard.

He felt drawn to the small reflecting bowl. His feet moved of their own accord. He found himself at the bowl's edge and he looked down into the water. He saw himself, angry and exhausted. What else was he expecting to see, a vision? What he was supposed to do? Boromir sighed and was about to turn away when the image flickered and changed. He gasped for in the place of his reflection was a terrified Frodo, fallen in the leaves and staring in horror at something above him. He watched as Frodo put on the one Ring and vanished from view. The image changed and an orc with a bow slowly drew back a black arrow and grinned with horrid pleasure. Then he saw himself Faramir embracing him like he had just returned from the dead while crying tears of joy. That confused him greatly... What would make Faramir do such a thing? The last image terrified and confused him more than anything else. He saw an elf maiden with her delicate arms wrapped around the thick waist of an Orc wearing elvish garments. They were riding on the back of the biggest warg he'd ever seen.

He turned away from the mirror. It was showing impossible things. It had to be mistaken...

"You are the one who is mistaken..." came a melodic voice from behind him. The Lady Galadriel..."The mirror shows many things. Things that _could_ come to pass. Some things that _will_ come to pass no matter how hard you try to stop them."

"My Lady, forgive me, I should not be here..." Boromir said, instantly feeling guilty for nosing around.

"You have no need to apologize, though I must admit, I expected it would be Lady Sapphire, not you..." the Lady of Lothlorien said, "But no matter, I would have summoned you anyways, for I have something I wish to tell you."

"And what is that my Lady?" Boromir asked, genuinely curious.

"When you arrived, I saw in your mind that your destiny will be altered. I only wish that you...restrain yourself...For I see desire in your future that will only lead to sorrow..."

Boromir frowned, "Desire? I beg your pardon?"

"You will understand soon. May the stars watch over you, Son of Gondor."

"And you, my Lady." Boromir said, remembering his manners even though he was confused and slightly frightened. His destiny altered? How could his destiny be altered? Wasn't destiny... _destiny_?


	15. Purple Ink

**Sapphire:**

I eowke the nexct t=morning to the soundcv ]

Alright, the chapter's really starting now LOL, I WAS ATTEMPTING TO TYPE IN THE DARK. Didn't work... '.'

 **Sapphire:**

I woke the next morning to the sound a bird chirping merrily on a tree branch right beside my head. I yawned loudly and the bird stopped chirping and cocked its head as if to say, _Why ya opening your mouth that wide ya crazy?_

"Oh shut up..." I told it.

"Pardon?" Legolas asked. Aragorn was gone, but Legolas was leaning against the large trunk of the tree we were in, a serene expression on his face. Had he been watching me sleep? Okay, that was kind of creepy...

"Nothin'" I muttered embarrassedly, yawning again. The bird resuming its merry chirping and I stood and instead of taking the ladder, I jumped from tree branch to tree branch. The lowest tree branch was a only about ten to twelve feet from the ground, and I jumped down easily, landing in a cat-like crouch. I brushed my hands off on my already dirty jean and headed to get some food, because I was seriously starving. The sun was already risen high in the sky. I had slept late...

Suddenly my arm flared with pain. In all my concern for everyone else, I had forgotten it was broken. I tried to move my fingers. I could, but it hurt a bit. I gently eased it out of the makeshift splint. To my surprise, I could move it and it was only a bit stiff and occasionally pain flared when I moved it too quickly. What the heck?! How had it healed that quickly? I didn't have any elves heal it, atI slid it back into the splint to let it heal fully and headed for breakfast...Or, given how late it was, second breakfast. I wandered through Lothlorien, gazing at its serene beauty until my stomach started rumbling.

Naturally, I got lost.

Finally, I ran into someone who could actually understand common tongue and give me directions. It was Haldir, and he had a little card in his hand. He looked worried.

"Hello Haldir. Where are you headed? I'm slightly lost..."

"Greetings Lady Sapphire. I am reporting alarming news to Lord Celeborn. I heard an alarmingly loud noise just outside the boundaries and went to investigate. I found abnormally large warg footprints and this? This wouldn't happen to be yours would it?" Haldir said, holding out the card.

I took it and did a double take.

It was a Taboo card.

UMMMMMM...

It read:

 **Kohlrabi**

Green

Vegetable

Salt

Cabbage

Lettuce

I flipped it over. The other side was what really gave it away though. It read:

 **Elf**

Santa

Short

Pointy Ears

Toys

North Pole

But all around these typical clues that you weren't allowed to use were clues written in purple ink:

Lothlorien

Rivendell

Mirkwood

Thranduil

Legolas

Haldir

Galadriel

Elrond

Arwen

Only one person I knew wrote on her Taboo cards.

Lauren, Tyler's partially deaf sister with a photographic memory.

Which meant my phone and solar powered charger was here because I had lent them to her to take camping! HOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAYY! Now I could take pictures of my time with the Fellowship! BEST DAY EVER! Then I wondered how Lauren had even gotten here... Whatever. I wasn't gonna question it.

"Yes, that's mine, thank you. I was just writing on it to remember names and places," I stuttered. "I must have dropped it on the way."

"Ah..." Haldir said, not looking quite convinced.

"So, would you be so kind as to lead me to lunch. I'm afraid I've missed breakfast," I said.

"I am in quite a hurry. I will lead you to the main path but then I'm afraid I must rush on so that no time is wasted in hunting down this warg. It is not a good omen, a warg daring to come into the Golden Wood and this close to our borders."

My eyes widened as I realized that my friends were in great danger. I had to do something! He started off, walking quickly, and I jogged to keep up with him.

"Haldir stop," I pleaded.

"Can you not keep up or do you have something else you wish to ask of me?" he asked, slightly irritated.

"Haldir, please, you can't tell anyone about the warg!" I begged.

"Why on earth not? Surely you cannot feel sympathy for it? Wargs are merciless killers, not something to be pitied," Haldir said to me like he was correcting a young child.

"This one isn't actually a WARG! He's my best friend's little brother okay?!" I practically screeched, grabbing his arm as he hurried off again.

His eyebrow raised slightly higher and he opened his mouth and shut it, and after a brief moment of silence, he said, "You are friends...with someone whose younger sibling...is a warg..."

"Yes... Please don't tell anyone! PLEASE!" I begged, doing my best puppy dog eyes. Haldir was not impressed.

"I am taking you to Lady Galadriel. She will know what the best course of action is regarding your large warg friend," the elf decided.

"Alright..." I sighed. I knew it was coming sooner or later, but I still was not eager to have my mind scoured by the Loony Lady of Lothlorien, please pardon my manners. That scene where she turned all X-Ray filter colors was Ca-REEPY though. She was like, YOU WOULD HAVE A QUEEN! NOT DARK, BUT BEAUTIFUL AS THE DAWN and TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! MWAHAHAHA!

Haldir led me to the main tree thingy with all the pretty lights. I spaced out as I climbed, thinking about how lovely it would be to live in Lothlorien. We reached the top, and Galadriel spotted me first, although I had a feeling she knew I was coming already. I was proved right when she spoke.

"Lady Sapphire. I was expecting you would be here sooner... We have much to discuss,"

I did an awkward bow, and Lady Galadriel laughed, a sound like tinkling bells. She held out her arm for me to take and nodded at Haldir. The elf nodded in respect and left us alone.

"So, I presume you are finding your stay enjoyable..."

"Yes, lovely thank you..." I mumbled, and then my stomach growled. How embarrassing.

Galadriel laughed again, "Are you hungry my Lady?"

"Yes, a little..." I muttered, my ears slightly red. What was up with me?

"Well, I will only keep you a little, and then we shall see to some lunch.

"Oh, thank you. I said gratefully. Lunch sounded very good right about now. Lady Galadriel headed down the stairs, and I followed in silence. We walked along cobble paths, Galadriel's white dress quietly slipping along behind her. It repelled dirt apparently, because it was trailing through leaves and mud yet it remained spotless.

We entered a secluded courtyard near where we had slept last night, and I sighed. Knew this one was coming...We were at the mirror...

"Let me guess, you're going to ask me if I wish to look in the mirror?"

"Indeed. But first, let me tell you of the words that were spoken in my mind. Four days and nights have passed and I pondered upon the meaning of the haunting words uttered by such a powerful tongue. Now that you are here, however, their meaning is made clear. This is what the Valar declared unto me:

 _The fires of industry blaze,_

 _The Fallen Five unite,_

 _Arda to preserve or raze,_

 _Foes bear arms in the fight._

 _The last stand of Men draws near,_

 _The Sapphire Flame comes with strange friends,_

 _Sword and shield shall appear,_

 _To protect their owners to all ends._

I opened my mouth, then shut it, and decided to just gape at her. I probably looked like a fish trying to breathe out of water, but I was too shocked to care. The Valar had written a PROPHECY? ABOUT MEH?! I wasn't THAT interesting... Sheesh. Although I liked the title they gave me...sounds pretty sick right? *Cue epic music*

THE SAPPHIRE FLAME! DUH DUH DAAAAHHH!

"You ARE the Sapphire Flame young one. You carry the fate of our world on your shoulders," Galadriel said. Oh thanks, like I didn't know that already. One slip up on my part= BOOM! SAURON WINS! GAME OVER!

"Who are the Fallen Five?" I asked. More dudes with rings of power? Important guys who died from boredom during Middle Earth history class?

"I believe the prophecy is referring to you and your...unusual friends just outside of the borders of Lothlorien."

I gasped. My friends were in the prophecy too?! And it said we would unite?! How could we unite?! The elves would kill Tyler and Peet and Lauren (if she was an orc or warg) on sight. Also, how the heck did Galadriel know about them?

Oh...right...I forgot... creepy mind reading powers and all...

"So, Lady Sapphire, will you look in the mirror?" Galadriel prompted. I sighed and nodded. She gestured for me to step forward, so I did. Nothing happened at first, just like with Frodo. Then something very odd began to happen. Tendrils of silvery smoke started curling off the surface of the mirror, the rest of the water changing to smoke as I watched. Uh...I was pretty sure this was not normal...

The smoke billowed upward, and droplets of dew formed on my nose. So this was like, that fake fog stuff? I looked over at Galadriel for support but she just frowned confusedly. So this wasn't normal...Huh...

The smoke cleared and my eyes widened.

"What the heck is this?!" I cried, staring at five colorful backpacks in horror. On each backpack was an initial in rhinestones. The dark blue one was an S. The silver one had an L. The pink sported a sparkly J, the green was adorned with a T, and the red had a P.

Me, Lauren, Julia, Tyler, and Peter.

The fallen five.

O. .

"What is the meaning of this?" Galadriel cried, staring at me in confusion.

"Uh, I think I've just been given a gift from the Valar...These are called backpacks where I'm from, I'm guessing they have cool gear we can use against Sauron in them..." I stuttered, grabbing the blue one with an S and unzipping it eagerly.

It was empty.


	16. Vindyamiriel the Pen-Sword

Okay, so I was looking up elvish translations for my character names and here's what I found:

 **Sapphire:** **Vindyamiriel** (Vind-yah-meer-ee-el)

 **Lauren-** _Crowned with Laurel:_ **Galasriniel** (Gahl-ahs-ree-nee-ell)

 **Julia-** _Soft-haired:_ **Findëmaxa** (Finn-day-mahx-ah)

 **Peter-** _Rock_ : **Hirgon** (Lit. Rock Lord) (Hear-gone)

 **Tyler-** _Tiler:_ **Ceredirond** (Lit. Roof Maker) (Kare-eh-dear-ond)

Cool right?!

 **Sapphire:**

I was disappointed to say the least. I reached deeper into the bag and rifled around to see if I could find something, anything. To my surprise, my fingers closed around a stiff piece of paper. I pulled out a small cream colored envelope with my name written on it in gorgeous cursive. I carefully peeled it open, not wanted to destroy the pretty writing and pulled out a slip of paper. In delicate cursive, it read:

 ** _Stay Safe._**

 ** _–J.R.R. TOLKIEN_**

 ** _PS: I figured you would appreciate the sword._**

I ogled the note, reread it, and ogled it some more. Was that who brought us here? FREAKING J.R.R. TOLKIEN HIMSELF?! And where the heck was the sword?

I peered back into the bag, looking for the missing sword, and to my surprise, a ballpoint pen labeled: **Vindyamiriel** appeared in the backpack right in front of my eyes. SWEET! MAGIC BACKPACK!

But why would I want a ballpoint pen? Then it clicked (haha, unexpected pun): I figured you would appreciate the sword.

He had given me Percy Jackson's sword, or at least a sword that was LIKE Percy Jackson's sword. He somehow knew I was a fan of the series, and decided to give me a replica of Riptide. NO WAY!

I uncapped the pen, and Galadriel ogled as a full sized elvish sword popped into existence.

Its razor sharp blade was entirely mithril. Its hilt was finely cured leather and its pommel was a perfectly cut sapphire almost as big as my fist. Whoa...Definitely NOT Riptide... I gave it a test swing and found that it was perfectly weighted and I swung it with ease.

"Sword and shield shall appear to protect their owners to all ends..." Galadriel murmured, "What else is inside this backpack?"

"I dunno...It's sort of magical, so I need to know what I'm looking for and then it appears," I said.

"Give me a breastplate Mr. Backpack please," I said with a silly grin. To my surprise, a chainmail shirt made from mithril like Frodo's appeared in the bottom of the backpack.

"Not exactly a breastplate, but it'll do..." I said, holding the mithril shirt up in reverence. Galadriel's eyes shone with laughter and surprise.

"The Valar are truly on your side Lady Sapphire..." she said in awe.

"Hmm...Is there such thing as mithril lined pants?" I asked Galadriel, "Because those would be neat!"

A pair of stiff and thick leather pants appeared in the bag.

"Okay, that answers that question... Geez Tolkien, you thought of everything didn't you... How about a shirt, or some bracers? Boots?"

All three of those things appeared in the backpack and I began to wonder if this thing could summon anything you asked for.

"And an ice cream sandwich?" I asked. To my dismay, nothing happened. Maybe it only summoned weapons and armor?

"A spear?" I asked. Nope...Nada... I guess it really only had a few things and I would just have to guess them...Or maybe...

"Give me everything you got..."

Instantly, the back pack was full of stuff. I saw an emerald ring that glittered a deadly green, a small brown box, several lembas, packets of my favorite underwear and bras (uh...thanks Tolkien?) among other things. I would have to take time and rifle through all of it later. Before Galadriel could see the undergarments, I quickly said, "Okay, clear it out please Mr. Backpack..."

To my relief, the backpack went empty and I scooped up the other backpacks, also empty (and magical I guess). Wow...This was so weird. It seemed almost too perfect, but I was grateful for the help. It was the least Tolkien could do if he was the one who dragged us here...

Before I left, I asked Galadriel something that had been on my mind. She laughed, and I blushed. You don't need to know what I asked, because it was quite silly. So, yeah... That pretty much wrapped up our stay in Lothlorien. I was escorted out by Haldir (on Galadriel's orders) to bring the other backpacks to my friends. Lauren was indeed here, and she was an elf. She gave me back my phone and solar charger, and I snuck a ton load of pictures of Lothlorien. That afternoon, we dined on a swan boat with Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. Then, gifts were given, and we were on our way down the Celebrant, approaching Boromir's doom and the hobbit's kidnapping. Dread filled my heart and my legs turned to jelly whenever I thought about it. So I refused to think about it. I would spend time with the hobbits.

I was placed with Pippin and Merry! Hooray! Now, how to begin? I was wondering if I should crack a joke when Pippin asked, "What's that blue bag on your back?"

"Oh, it was my gift from Galadriel along with the elvish cloak and my sword and stuff," I said with a grin as I rowed.

"Sword?" Merry asked confused and I popped the pen out of my pocket. I had tested it in Lothlorien and to my surprise and joy, it always returned to my pocket! Just like Riptide! I was really loving J.R.R. Tolkien right now man...

I popped off the cap and my epic sword, Vindyamiriel, popped into existence. Pippin yelped and Merry gasped loudly.

"Wow! That's amazing!" Merry cried, grinning from ear to ear and as Aragorn and Frodo passed by on their boat, Aragorn called out, "Where did you get that sword Lady Sapphire?"

I held it up so everyone could see it, attempting to row with one hand. Unfortunately, I dropped it. Oh well...It would appear in my pocket in a minute or two...

Aragorn stared at the water for a millisecond and seemed to come to a conclusion. He dove out of his boat and caught the sword as it sunk. What the heck? He was not a very good swimmer, and he struggled to lift the sword out of the water to hand it to me while swimming. Frodo took the abandoned oar and helped Aragorn back into their small boat and I started to laugh as I came out of my shocked stupor.

"Alright, you didn't need to be all noble Aragorn..." I sniggered.

He looked confused and irritated, and he sniped, "Do you wish to be weaponless?"

The other two boats caught up with ours and Gimli grunted out, "What in Durin's name?! You do realize that sword is made from mithril Lady Sapphire?"

"Uh, yeah, I thought that was obvious..." I muttered embarrassedly.

"Is the pommel made of sapphire?" Boromir snorted and shook his head incredulously.

"Where on earth did you get that blade?" Legolas cried in disbelief, and I felt mighty uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on me.

"Uh..." I said, and not wishing to lie any more than I had to, I decided to tell the truth.

"It appeared with this bag in the Mirror..." I said slowly, waiting for a reaction.

"You looked in the Mirror as well?" Boromir asked quietly, and I whipped my head around.

"Say WHAT?" I cried. Boromir wasn't supposed to look in the Mirror! NO! NO NO NO! This could NOT be happening! The story was deteriorating!

"I thought only Frodo looked in the Mirror..." I mumbled, questioning Frodo with panicked eyes.

"I did...How did you know?" Frodo asked.

"Oh. Galadriel told me." I said quickly.

"Alright, don't panic, this is supposed to happen," I warned them as I recapped my pen-sword.

Everyone gasped as the sword shrunk back into a ballpoint pen, which I displayed.

"Your sword is named after you," Legolas commented.

"What?" I asked.

"Vindyamiriel means sapphire in my tongue," Legolas said with a soft smile.

"Oh, that's really cool Legolas. Thank you for telling me!" I said with a grin. Legolas returned the smile and pulled ahead of the group. I grinned evilly, "Oh no you don't. Come on Merry and Pippin! Let's catch 'em!" The cute hobbits grinned evilly, and took up their own oars with some difficulty.

"Come on Aragorn! Get Frodo to help you!" I called out merrily as we passed them, and Frodo smiled for the first time in a long while. "Let's catch them Strider!" he urged the Ranger, and Aragorn chuckled and complied, his strong arms propelling the boat faster, but not fast enough. Gimli and Legolas were hauling it, both of them being pretty strong. Boromir and Sam were trying their best, but they just couldn't catch Aragorn and Frodo. In the end, I was neck and neck with the elf and the dwarf when poor Pippin and Merry's midget arms gave out. They toppled over with exhausted giggles and fell asleep on the spot. I laughed, and slowed my rowing, my arms throbbing and my lungs burning from the exertion. It felt good though, and I was genuinely happy. I could tell that the others were as well, and Frodo was the happiest I'd seen him since the beginning of the quest. In the end, I came in third, Aragorn declaring the finish line ahead of time and Boromir and Sam attempting to catch up with me in the last few minutes. Legolas was the only one not too tired to stay awake so he offered to take first watch.

"'Night Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin," I said to the hobbits in turn and curled up in my blankets. We had made record time today, and that night we all slept like rocks, not a worry to be had. What a day...


	17. Lame Jokes and Fishy Tales

LONG CHAPTER FOR YOU EPIC PEOPLE WHO FAVORITED, FOLLOWED, and REVIEWED EVERY CHAPTER! YOU GUYS ROCK!

 **WARNING: SPOILERS: THIS CHAPTER FEATURES LAME JOKES, BURNING OF INNOCENT HOBBITS, LARGE FISH, MORE LAME JOKES, WHEELBARROWS, CONTAGIOUS YAWNING AND EVEN MORE LAME JOKES. You have been sufficiently warned.**

 **Sapphire:**

I yawned and stretched, stumbling over to the hobbits.

"Good morning," I said, opening my backpack and noticing that the lembas bread that had been rationed to me had disappeared. I thought about lembas bread, and a piece wrapped in a leaf appeared. Man, this thing was so cool. I sneakily poked a hole in my lembas bread, hid my phone behind it with the camera lined up with the hole, and proceeded to tell Merry and Pippin a joke. I couldn't resist getting a good photo of them laughing, they were so cute when they found something amusing.

"Hey, you want to hear a joke?"

"Ooh, you know jokes?" Merry asked eagerly, and they hurried over and sat by my feet. The others watched in slight amusement as the two hobbits sat down with their backs to the small fire Aragorn was stoking. They were sitting awfully close to the edge of the fire with their flappy cloaks... It worried me... I decided not to say anything though, I would just sound like I trying to be their mother. Legolas sat down on a fallen tree and Gimli leaned against it and smoked. Boromir was polishing his shield for like, the thousandth time this week.

"Sure I know jokes, though...they ARE pretty bad..." I admitted.

"Bad as in ridiculously foolish? Or bad as in dark and not appropriate for young hobbit ears?" Boromir said, looking up from polishing his shield.

I snorted, "Both."

"Tell us one! Don't worry, we've heard some pretty terrible jokes from Frodo before."

Frodo gasped playfully, "Why, I never! Terrible jokes? From me?"

"Well, where to begin? Hmm..." I muttered, and then my eyes lit up and I leaned forward to whisper in their ears, "How about we start off with some dark jokes to aggravate Boromir!"

"Alright." Merry said, grinning mischievously.

"Let's do it," whispered Pippin excitedly, eyes sparkling with malicious delight. These hobbits man... Too cute... We sat back up, Boromir staring at us suspiciously, wondering why we were whispering. Legolas said something in Elvish to Aragorn, and the Ranger quirked his eyebrows in amusement as he rolled up his bedroll and tucked it into his pack.

"Why didn't the ghost go to the party?" I asked loudly.

"How could a ghost go to a..." Gimli started, but the hobbits caught on quickly.

"Why?" Merry asked.

"Because he didn't have any-body to dance with!" I said and snorted at my own joke.

The hobbits laughed and I could have sworn I saw Aragorn's mouth twitch.

"Where on earth did you learn that joke lass? Quite a nice little play on words." Gimli grinned.

"Uh...Where I come from, that was not a very good joke, really, I've heard much better," I laughed.

"Tell us another one!" Merry and Pippin demanded, scooting closer to my legs.

"Well, this one's similar to the last, but I'll give it a shot anyway."

I mentally changed the joke to be funnier for this time period and asked, "Why didn't the skeleton fight in the great battle?"

"Why?" Pippin demanded.

"Because he didn't have the guts!" I cried and the hobbits cackled.

"Your jokes are slightly disturbing, but laughable nonetheless. Go on, tell us another one," Boromir said, and I nearly fainted. Just kidding of course, but he was being unusually polite. I guess he was just in a good mood this morning. That was a nice change.

I thought for a moment about what jokes would be middle-earth appropriate and decided on the old classic about food.

"Why did the tomato blush?" I prompted, and this time it was Legolas who asked "Why?"

"Because he saw the salad dressing!" I said, and this time all four hobbits started giggling. Aragorn actually snorted, shaking his head at the ridiculous joke, and a rare smile crossed Legolas's face. Wow. He was so gorgeous when he smiled. I found myself staring, and looked away quickly before he noticed.

"We need to get moving," Aragorn decided, and I stood, going to stuff my bedroll in my magical backpack. Then something terrible happened, as if in slow motion. The two hobbits stood from where they had been sitting at my feet. Merry turned to go help Frodo roll up his bedroll, since he had already done so, and Pippin turned in the opposite direction to pack his bedroll. They had a head on collision, bonking foreheads, and they both stumbled away from each other dazed. To my horror, Pippin stumbled to the right, tripped over a tree root and fell...straight into the fire. Sparks and flaming sticks went everywhere, and Pippin screamed, pushing himself out of the fire and to his feet. His cloak and his pants were on fire, though his hair hadn't been touched as he had fallen over the fire. Everyone cried his name in shock and he raced down to the shore towards the river. Assessing the situation and noting that he would have to run through tall dry grass to get onto the rocky shore and to the water, I screamed, "PIPPIN NO! STOP DROP AND ROLL!"

Thankfully, he did exactly that, rolling down a short slope and into a tree in a tangle of hobbit limbs and burnt elvish cloak.

I rushed over before anyone else could, "Pippin, are you okay?!"

"I...I don't think so Sapphire," he whimpered. "My right leg hurts really bad."

The others watched nervously as Aragorn cut away his blackened pants leg to expose slightly reddened skin. There was a nasty bruise where his leg had hit the logs, and I decided that must be what was causing him pain, since he hardly was burned. I remember dropping a pot of hot water on my foot once while attempting to cook, and my foot was as red as a tomato and impossible to walk on for three days afterwards.

Aragorn came to the same conclusion a moment later, pressing gently around the bruise, then standing.

"You are not injured other than some slight bruising, however I suggest you be more careful around fires from now on Master Peregrin," he said, walking over to his pack and pulling out a tiny jar of white stuff. He rubbed a thick coating over Pippin's leg, and Pippin sighed in relief. Then he did a quick stitch-up of Pippin's pants (that guy could sew man...) and helped the hobbit to his feet. Pippin grimaced and hobbled toward the boats.

" Not until afterward did I realize he would have to pass through dry grass to reach the water. You have good foresight my Lady." Legolas remarked to me quietly, heading for the boat with Gimli.

I grinned in response, and shouldered my empty backpack. Another day rowing, and my arms were already killing me. Yippee.

I spent the time telling various jokes to Merry and Pippin. In return, they told me of all their various exploits and adventures in the shire.

"So, one Friday (he said it more like Fry-Day), we were out fishing on the Brandywine, and Pippin got the biggest fish you'd ever seen."

"Doubtful, " I said. I had seen some ridiculously large fish in my lifetime.

"It was as big as me!" Pippin protested.

"But you're not that big!" I giggled, ruffling his hair. Pippin huffed and Merry continued the story, "So we tried to carry this prize fish but he kept flopping and hitting us in the face with his tail and we kept dropping him because he was very slippery and heavy. We got only a little ways from the water when we gave up and went home to get a wagon to carry him in. But when we came back, the fish was gone!"

"What?! It just got up and walked away?" I laughed.

"Sure seemed like it, because there was a trail that led off the road. At first it seemed certain that someone else with a wagon had swiped our prize fish, but it seemed that whatever had taken him had dragged him into the forest. We were angry and followed the trail of water through the forest to get back our fish. We ended up losing the trail and getting very lost. We kept trying to find the trail, and we were so intent on looking for it,"

"That we weren't paying attention to our surroundings!" Pippin said, taking over the story, "We heard a growl and looked up, and there, right in front of us, was a giant bear starting in on OUR fish! I did what my mama always told me to do, and raised my arms up like this!" he raised his arms up in an attempt to look menacing.

"And I roared at that bear!" he cried, roaring and then giggling. "And that bear, he dropped the fish and took off running! We finally found our way out of the forest, but sadly, our fish was only two ounces lighter than the record catch from the Brandywine," Pippin finished the story. "We had fish for a _long_ time after that," Merry commented and I grinned, "My grandpa once had a run in with a bear. After that, he always told me, "If you see a bear Sapphire, you gotta be the bigger bear!"

"Be the bigger bear. I like it!" Merry smiled up and me, and I had the urge to hug the adorable hobbit.

"So, you want to hear another joke?" I asked. They nodded eagerly and I decided to tell them a terrible joke. About Middle Earth. A meme I turned into a joke. It didn't really work since it wasn't nearly as funny being told out loud, but I decided it would still be worth a shot.

"Okay, so what do you have if you have one door?" I asked.

"Uh...What?" Pippin asked.

"A door," I said, completely serious. They stared and Pippin said, "I don't get it."

"What do you have if you add another door to that door?"

"What?" Merry asked, and I said completely seriously, "Mordor."

"I still don't get it..." Pippin said, and yelped as Merry whacked him upside the head, "It's where we're going you numskull!"

"Oh," Pippin said. "Did you have to hit me?"

I cleared my throat to get their attention and finished the joke, "And what do you have if both of those doors suddenly vanish?"

"What?"

"Gondor." I said, and Merry laughed, "That's where Boromir lives!"

My thoughts darkened when he mentioned Boromir. The man's death was only a couple days away. It was scary, looking at him and wishing I could save him. I couldn't keep thinking this way or I would end up saving him, only to kill everyone because Faramir took the ring to Denethor. I would, however, save Haldir and Théoden. Their deaths had no effect on the storyline except for making a lot of people sad and giving Éowyn the huge task of ruling Rohan.

I was completely out of jokes for the time being...Well...except for one...

"Well, I would tell you another Fellowship joke, but all the good ones Aragorn."

The hobbits giggled again, and then they broke into the tale of how they accidently ran into Sam's garden while running away from an angry Farmer Maggot and tripped the gardener hobbit, who fell headfirst in a large wheelbarrow full of soil."

"And his legs were flying around so much that he kicked Pippin in the head twice while we were trying to pull him out!" Merry said enthusiastically.

That night, they insisted that I tell the others the Fellowship jokes, thinking that I had made them up.

"They're good, really!" Pippin insisted, shoving me into the ring of resting people watching the sun go down.

"These sausages are good!" Gimli said with a grin, chomping on a sizzling sausage fresh off the fire (which Aragorn was keeping Pippin far away from), "I don't know where that hobbit learned how to cook, but he makes some _excellent_ sausage. If only we had salted pork!"

Merry bounded up beside me and announced to the small group resting about on rocks and logs, "Sapphire has some jokes she made herself she wants to tell you!"

"Merry, really? I did not.."

"They're about the fellowship!"

"Um..." I said, and Boromir chuckled at how uncomfortable I was. Aragorn just grinned and took another puff of his pipe. I resisted the urge to tell him how bad smoking was for his lungs.

"Go ahead, tell us lass. No need to be ashamed," Gimli grunted, smoking as well.

"I'm not ashamed, they're not MY jokes..." I said.

"How could they not be yours?" Pippin asked confusedly, and I backtracked,"Well, the second one is, but not the first."

"Oh. I suppose that makes sense," Merry said.

" Alright, I suppose they'll never give me a moment's peace until I tell you the joke. Just, be warned, it's the dumbest thing you'll possibly ever hear."

I sighed, "So, what do you have if you have a door?"

They looked at me confused, and then Legolas walked up, "I believe she is waiting for you to ask 'what'"

Great. My humiliation was complete. Now I could make a fool of myself in front of Legolas.

"What?" Gimli grunted.

"A door." I sighed, and Aragorn frowned.

"Alright, so what do you have if you add another door to that door?"

There was silence, and then, to my utter shock, Frodo said slowly, "Well, I suppose you would have Mordor."

I gasped, and then cracked up laughing. Frodo was a smart cookie all right!

"And what do you have if those doors suddenly disappear?!" I asked, and this time, catching on, Boromir threw back his head and let out a guaff, "Gondor!"

"Exactly!" I laughed, and sat down on a log, and knowing the hobbits wouldn't forget there were two jokes, blurted out, "And I would tell you another Fellowship joke, but all the good ones Aragorn."

Aragorn shook his head, chuckling at the sheer stupidity of the jokes, and I grinned and tried to send a message, "The hobbits made me!"

"You surely are strange lass. I will never understand your way of speech." Gimli said with another puff at his pipe.

"Well, I'm going to turn in for the night. See you in the morning," I yawned exaggeratedly. And some proof that yawns are indeed contagious: Every member of the Fellowship except for Legolas yawned as well.


	18. A Slightly Soggy Ranger

MY BIGGEST CHAPTER EVER! YAY! Leave a review! Thanks anyone who reviewed, followed, or favorited and huge shout-out to Anijon for reviewing EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER! Also, please check out the Changing Histories series! CALENHIRIL ROCKS! MEL AND BOROMIR 4-EVER!

 **Sapphire:**

The next morning we only had lembas bread. So breakfast consisted of one bite. Man, lembas did taste good though. I had gone through one piece of lembas bread in the last two days, the slightly less than consumed by Merry and Pippin. What? I needed my strength!

"If you eat much more than that you will become sick to your stomachs," Legolas warned.

"What? It tastes good!" Merry mumbled through a particularly large mouthful. Frodo and Sam were eating about as much as me, and I wanted to tell them to slow down on the lembas bread. No wonder why they got sick of it! They would be having nothing but lembas bread for weeks after this and they were already gorging themselves on it.

Pippin jumped into the boat and leaned back, full and content, "I haven't been this stuffed since Rivendell. Although these things do take the fun out of eating. What I wouldn't give for one of Bilbo's seed-cakes!"

"Or some ale from the Green Dragon!" Merry said morosely.

"Or some pipeweed!" Pippin groaned, "I ran out back in Rivendell!"

"Aragorn has some, why don't you ask him?" I said, regretting mentioning it as soon as the words left my mouth. Goodness gracious, Pippin was addicted to pipeweed and he was the equivalent of about fifteen, sixteen. However, apparently Pippin had already thought of this, "Aragorn's pipeweed is too bland, and Gimli won't share his!"

"Good for him..." I muttered under my breath as I rowed. They told me about more of their exploits. That night we landed at an island in the middle of the river. Boromir turned and was looking at something as we set up camp. A small log floating downstream...and there was Gollum. It was my first glimpse of Gollum in person. He looked so sad and wet. So desperate for the Ring...

Aragorn grumbled, "Gollum. He has tracked us since Moria."

Gollum coughed his throaty cough, "Gollum!", realizing he had been caught.

"I had hoped we would lose him on the river. But he's too clever a waterman." Aragorn muttered, staring at Gollum in distaste.

"Of course he's a clever waterman! Don't you remember Gandalf said he used to be one of the River-men on the Brandywine?"

"No...I had forgotten about him...that..." Aragorn said, and I realized I shouldn't have brought up Gandalf.

"Have some food Mister Frodo," Sam said, trying to hand a chunk of lembas bread to the hobbit.

"Alright," said Frodo overly cheerily, taking the lembas bread. Sam wandered off. I racked my memories and recalled that he was supposed to go, "No, Sam," and then Sam would say, "Don't think I haven't noticed you're not eating or sleeping" or something like that. I had cheered up Frodo TOO much! What if he didn't leave because I made him feel more secure? What if Boromir didn't even try to take the Ring?

But then I saw his eyes. He wasn't really happy, he was just trying to make Sam feel better. I saw a steely resolve glinting in his eyes. I sighed. So he was going to leave. Good.

Sam noticed when he didn't actually eat the lembas bread.

"Mister Frodo, go on, eat," he said.

"I'm all right," Frodo said.

"But you're not! I'm here to help you. I promised Gandalf that I would." Sam said. They were back on movie script again.

"You can't help me, Sam. Not this time...Get some sleep."

Sam left sadly and I followed him over to his blankets and set down mine.

"Hey Sam..." I said, sitting down and realizing suddenly that he was crying silently. I was startled. I put my hand on his shoulder but he stayed turned away from me.

"Don't you take anything that Frodo said to heart. He needs you, more than you could ever imagine," I whispered. Frodo came over after a few minutes and laid down his blankets. He laid down facing the fire where Boromir and Aragorn sat. Legolas was keeping watch from the only tree on the island, and Gimli was already asleep. The other hobbits...where were Merry and Pippin anyway? I shrugged it off and watched the dying flames. Suddenly Boromir spoke out to Aragorn, seemingly following movie script as usual, "Minas Tirith is the safer road. You know it. From there we can regroup...strike out for Mordor from a place of strength."

Aragorn turned at looked at him incredulously like, _You're still going on about this?_ He said firmly, "There is no strength in Gondor that can avail us."

"You were quick enough to trust the Elves. Have you so little faith in your own people?" Boromir asked angrily. I wanted to snort at that, clearly Boromir had no idea that the man sitting before him had been raised by elves. I glanced behind me and caught Frodo watching them argue. I sent him an encouraging look and he smiled grimly at me.

" "Yes, there is weakness. There is frailty. But there is courage also, and honor to be found in Men. But you will not see that," Boromir said, his angry growing steadily. Aragorn just looked sad.

Aragorn turns away, but Boromir grabbed his arm and turned him back to face him. "You are afraid! All your life, you have hidden in the shadows!"

Aragorn looked irritated now, but Boromir continued, "Scared of who you are, of what you are."

Boromir released Aragorn's forearm and sighed, and Aragorn stalked off, looking very mad. Suddenly he whirled back around and cried, "I will not lead the Ring within a hundred leagues of your city!" He then laid down far away from the others on his bedroll and watched the water flow past the island.  
Boromir looked very insulted and stormed off to his bedroll and placed it as far from Aragorn's as possible. The other side of the island. I huffed, "They're acting like little children!"

Frodo laughed dryly. Suddenly, water was splashed on Aragorn and Boromir simultaneously from behind rocks nearby and they yelped rather girlishly. Boromir cried, "How dare you!"and Aragorn huffed, "You terrible rascals! Get back here so I may smite you down!"

There was giggling from behind each rock and Aragorn lunged behind his rock and brought out a shrieking Pippin. Boromir glared at his and a not-ashamed Merry raced out. Pippin and Merry stepped up to me and took a bow. Aragorn and Boromir grumpily sat back down but I could tell they were less stressed than before. I grinned and high-fived the halflings. The whining men had been punished sufficiently.

"We got them good didn't we?" Merry whispered.

"Yeah! Did you see the look on Aragorn's face?!" I giggled.

"They were not expecting it in the slightest!" Pippin grinned.

"You two would make good Weasley twins," I commented and when I received confused looks I just laughed, ruffling their hair, "Go on, get some sleep."

The next day I took in the beauty of aquamarine water as we glided between walls of rock. The only sound was the flowing water and the splash of the oar in the water. I sighed, Middle Earth had hidden beauties everywhere, from the snowy tips of soaring mountains to the gently flowing rivers and sloping valleys.

Suddenly, we rounded a corner and I gasped despite myself. We were finally here!

Aragorn inhaled sharply and tapped Frodo on the shoulder, "Frodo, the Argonath! Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old. My kin..."

I whistled, impressed. These were the biggest statues I had ever seen. How on earth had these Middle ages people build TWO statues bigger than the Statue of Liberty out of solid rock?!

There was whispered elvish in the wind, and I realized that the statues were probably made with magic. Still...impressive...I rowed with one hand and took a photo while everyone was still ensnared.

As we rowed closer, I had a stupid idea.

"Hey Pippin, could I borrow your dagger?" I asked.

"Uh...sure. Why?" he asked, unsheathing the weapon and gingerly handing it to me.

"Oh, I just want to do something real quick here," I said. When we got near to the feet of the Argonath, I turned and came to a stop beside the one on the right's big toe. I held on with my left hand and used my right to carve:

SAPPHIRE WAS HERE

I grinned evilly, and let the hobbits see.

"Sapphire...was...here..." Pippin read aloud, and Merry asked, "Why is it in all big letters?"

"Because it's easier to carve stuff in all uppercase," I explained, and giggled, "I just graffitied a national monument...I am so evil!"

"You what?" Pippin asked confusedly.

"Nevermind, lets catch back up with the others," I said, realizing I only had a few hours left with the hobbits and Boromir.

We stopped before the Falls of Rauros and Aragorn said, "We will rest here and replenish our strength before we go on. "Well, I'm not tired yet, just hot. I think I will go swimming," I said. In reality, I wanted to stand at the top of the Falls of Rauros. I would swim to the giant rock jutting up and splitting the falls in two, and climb to the edge on it. It would be super cool! I could get a picture too! Or a video!

"You can swim?" Aragorn asked, very surprised followed by a "WHAT?" from Boromir and Legolas raising his eyebrows. I remembered that it was fact here that women couldn't swim. In fact, most everyone couldn't swim. The water was considered a dangerous place.

"I do not doubt that you have the strength to swim, however, it is a very bad idea to swim here. The Falls of Rauros are just past that peak. The most majestic falls in all of Middle Earth," Legolas whispered, "I wish I could see them,"

"Ha, the Fall of Rauros look puny compared to Niagara Falls!" I laughed, "Height, they're about the same, but width...Niagara wins three times over!"

"Niagara Falls?" Gimli asked.

"Yeah, where I come from," I said.

"How large are they?" Aragorn wondered,"

"Well, like I said, about the same height as the Falls of Rauros, but way wider. Well, one of them is actually only 50 feet across, but..."

"One of them?" Merry asked.

"Well, yeah, they all come from the same river. Niagara falls is the collective name for three waterfalls: Bridal Veil Falls, American Falls and Horseshoe Falls. Horseshoe falls is the biggest, with over three thousand tons of water going over...every second...and hitting with 280 tons of force! You know what? As someone once said, 'Numbers and words cannot convey the majesty of Niagara falls'

"How do they know how forcefully the water hits the bottom of the falls?" Legolas asked.

"Where I come from, we have a tool that allows us to do that."

"And to measure the amount of the water as well?" Legolas asked.

"Well, yeah..." I muttered, hoping he would quit asking about modern technology.

"I see..." Legolas said.

"Okay, well, I'm going to go change, so,"

"We will leave you be so you may bathe," Legolas said, the others turning to leave with him. I realized they thought I was going to skinny dip. "Uh, you can stay if you want, where I come from we have something called a bathing suit that you wear when you want to swim with other people."

"So it is typical for people in your culture to swim? Even women?" Aragorn questioned, eyeing me doubtfully. Typical. Women can't do things like men, bla, bla, bla.

"Yeah, we even build pools of water and call them swimming pools. People hang out there during the summer."

"Why do you call it a bathing suit if you just wear it to go swimming?" Merry asked.

" I can't answer that one. I have no clue," I said, going behind a rock outcropping to change into the full piece bathing suit that Julia had brought camping. We were roughly the same size, and she hadn't worn it yet, so I considered it mine for now! I stepped out from behind the rock outcropping and everyone who looked up from whatever they were doing immediately turned bright red to the tips of their ears and looked away quickly. I realized with a snort that they were not used to seeing people wearing nothing but a bathing suit.

"I would appreciate it if you would cover yourself more adequately Lady Sapphire!" Boromir said through gritted teeth.

"I am covered!" I said, "Geezum, you act like you've never seen a woman before!"

"I haven't!" Gimli grunted, "But I like it!"

I face palmed, "Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! Did he just say that? Please tell me he did not just say that!"

"He did," Legolas confirmed.

"Well, I'm not swimming in my clothes, so you're just going to have to deal. I'll be underwater most of the time anyway, I swim underwater. I pulled out my goggles and slipped them on my face.

"What are those?" Boromir asked suspiciously and I grinned, "We call them goggles!"

"You can see through them?" Boromir asked.

"Yep. They press to your face and don't let in any water so you can open your eyes underwater."

"Really?" Pippin cried. "Could I try them?!"

"No you nitwit, you don't know how to swim!"

"Oh...right..." Pippin said sadly.

I waded into the water and found the current wasn't too strong. The water felt great on my hot, sweaty, and grimy skin. "Hey Aragorn, I saw you could swim! Come on! It feels really good!"

Aragorn declined despite my begging. I decided I would have to make him come in. I said, "Well, it's your funeral," and before he could respond, I splashed into the water and started swimming further out. I dove underwater as Legolas called out, "Lady Sapphire, it would most likely be in your best interest to... Thanks to my large lungs, I was able to stay underwater for quite some time. I waited and counted in my head.

 _10...13...15...18...23...34...37...39...45...55..._

I saw Aragorn swimming clumsily through the water to come rescue me and I popped up, hardly breathless, and tackled him.

We went down with a tremendous splash and we sank to the bottom, the current tugging at our hair and his thoroughly soaked clothes.

He pushed me off of him and came up sputtering, gagging on water. He started swimming back to shore.

I giggled, and swam after him, passing him quickly. I called back to him, "Oh, I'm sorry, did you swallow some water? My bad! I guess you men just aren't used to women being able to swim. Oopsie!"

He glared at me, stepping back onto land dripping everywhere and looking completely humiliated. He seemed to realize this was my way of getting revenge for his sexist comment, and sighed, "Now I am wet. If orcs attack, do you expect me to be able to defend you in wet garments?"

He began wringing out his soaking clothes and I said, "Can't you just change?"

"No. I own but one set of garments."

"Geez man, no wonder why you smell!" I said, shaking my head. "I packed five pairs."

"How can you fit five pairs of clothing in that tiny bag of yours?" Boromir asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Ah..." I muttered, realizing I had trapped myself.

"Well...it's magic."

"Magic," Boromir repeated.

"Yes, it is actually empty all the time. You put stuff in it, it disappears, you think about it, and it reappears. Like I said, it appeared in the Mirror."

"I don't believe you. Show me," Boromir grunted.

"Boromir. That was unkind," Aragorn scolded, "Who can we trust if not each other?"

That brought about dark thoughts. We couldn't trust Boromir. Well, actually I could...I could trust him to keep the story on track by trying to take the one Ring from Frodo. I could see how he looked at the hobbit nowadays. He was planning it. Right now actually.

"That would be quite handy," Gimli noted.

"You're so lucky! I want a magical pack!" Merry complained.

"Backpack, actually," I corrected.

"Backpack," Merry corrected himself.

"I don't get why it has an S made out of diamonds. Wouldn't it make more sense to be made out of sapphires like your sword pommel?" Pippin asked.

"No silly. One, the sapphires would not stand out against the blue fabric, and two, these are not diamonds. They're little pieces of stuff made of the same stuff as this, "I said, pointing at my goggle.

"Oh...So we can't sell them and be rich?"

"No Pippin," I laughed.

I swam a bit more after showing Boromir how my magical backpack worked and then dried off by the fire. I changed back into my clothes and came back just as the bad scene began. Boromir was already gone, getting wood, and Frodo would be soon after for an entirely different reason.

"We cross the lake at nightfall. Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north," Aragorn declared, still damp, but thankfully not soaked. I couldn't imagine him having to fight with dripping wet clothes. That would be very bad. In hindsight, it was a pretty stupid idea, and kind of mean. Oh well, what's done was done.

The others started to make camp and Gimli sat smoking. At Aragorn's words, he cried "Oh, yes?! It's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks! And after that, it gets even better!"

Pippin looked up, alarmed, and Gimli continued, "Festering, stinking marshlands, far as the eye can see!"

""That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf," Aragorn said calmly.

Gimli looked very offended, "Recover my...Phrrr..."

Legolas, who had not spoken for almost a day, said to Aragorn, "We should leave _now_."

"No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for cover of darkness," Aragorn said, his resolve firm.

I overheard Gimli saying to the Pippin, "No dwarf need recover strength! Pay no heed to that, young Hobbit." Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Frodo packing extra lembas into his bag quietly. My heart ached for the poor hobbit that thought he had to go alone to Mordor.

Legolas looked nervously into the trees. He turned back to Aragorn.

"It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near… I can feel it." Legolas whispered.

Merry returned from collecting firewood and said, "Where's Frodo?"

Man, that hobbit was sneaky. Even I hadn't seen him slip away, and I was watching for it. I had gotten distracted by Aragorn and Legolas. Mostly Legolas though. XD

Sam woke from a half-sleep with a start, "Frodo?"

Aragorn's eyes locked onto Boromir's shield and horror filled his eyes.

"We must find him!" Sam yelled, seeing the Gondorian shield as well. Why had the dude left his shield behind?! He always wore it on his back, and when he most needed it, he left it behind. I sighed, it's not like he knew, and besides, his death was a key element in the story.

What was I thinking?! He was a human being, not a fictional character! I couldn't just say he had to die for the sake of a story.

Well...I suppose...he had to die...for the sake of the people of Middle Earth...yeah... I supposed that would be okay for him. He would like to die a noble death right? I sighed and followed after the group, which quickly ended up splitting up to look for the missing Ringbearer and the Gondorian. I have not a clue why, but I followed Aragorn. We came upon Frodo and Aragorn called, "Frodo?"

Frodo yelped, "Huh?" turning around and looking frightened that we had discovered him so quickly, then recovering and saying morosely, "It has taken Boromir!"

Aragorn did not look surprised, but said sternly, "Where is the Ring?"

Frodo looked terrified and scrambled back, "Stay away!"

"Frodo!" Aragorn cried and Frodo stopped.

"I swore to protect you!" Aragorn said, exasperated.

Frodo considered this, and asked with steely determination, "Can you protect me from yourself?"

Aragorn looked saddened by this.

"Will you destroy it for me?" he asked Aragorn. Or at least I thought he was asking Aragorn, until he held out the ring to me.


	19. What You Desire

**Sapphire:**

My eyes widened as I stared at the Ring in his open palm. I heard it whispering in my mind:

ssaappphiireee...ssappphhhirreee...vinnndyaaamiiirieeeell...

And I wondered what is was that made people want this stupid piece of metal.

"Shut up," I told it, and Frodo frowned," What?"

"Talking to the annoying Ring. It keeps whispering at me and its starting to get creepy," I said. "Please get that possessed piece of metal away from me."

"You feel no call from the Ring?" Aragorn asked and I shrugged, "I guess not."

Frodo seemed to seriously consider giving me the Ring, holding it old tentively, "Will you...take it to Mordor? I...I know I should not ask this of you...but..."

Now I knew he wasn't just testing my loyalty. He was actually offering it to me.

I reached out and Frodo and Aragorn flinched when my fingers touched the cool metal of the Ring. I lifted it up and peered at it in disgust. All the while it continued to whisper my name. Frodo trembled, trying to restrain himself from tackling me and taking the Ring back.

"Sapphire?" Frodo asked nervously. The Ring made me want to vomit. It was eviler than evil, how could Frodo stand to hold it for one second?! And how could Boromir possibly ever want to have this thing?! Holding it was literally making me woozy and nauseous, and suddenly my legs gave out and I toppled over. I vaguely remembered Aragorn lying me down and Frodo attempting to pry my clenched hand off the Ring, but my muscles were locked up.

Then I saw it. The Eye of Sauron.

It wasn't that terrifying, but my ears were being blasted by howling winds. The shapes of the Nazgul appeared nearby, and I tried to force my hand to let go of the Ring. Nothing worked.

Then the Eye of Sauron spoke in a menacing voice that would be hard to describe, "I see you. You cannot hide."

"I would try talking to you, but you probably can't hear me. Eyeballs don't exactly have ears. Or mouths. How are you talking anyway?" I said,

"I can see your deepest desires," The eyeball told me.

"Nice to know," I said, but I wondered if he was bluffing or not. It would be bad if he could actually see my deepest desires.

"I can sense your fear weak mortal," Sauron rumbled maliciously, his flaming eye spitting sparks.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "And I can roll my EYES at you."

Suddenly the scenery changed. The flaming eye disappeared. I was looking down on myself...I was beautiful: I was an elf. And I was leaned back with my head on...Legolas' chest. The stars shone brightly overhead, illuminating the silvery undersides of the alternate elf-me looked up at Legolas as he stroked my hair and whispered, "Melleth nin, my star, my jewel...my mate."

I was staring in open-mouthed shock at the scene unraveling before me. Was this my deepest desire? To be an elf so I had a chance at Legolas loving me?

"This can be yours. Bring me the Ring and I will spare you and your friends. I can make him love you,"

I was sorely tempted.

Sorely tempted to stick the world's largest thumb tack into the Great Eye.

"I'm not falling for that! LIER!" I screamed. Sauron's eye flared , causing me substantial pain and then he rumbled, "Then you shall be slaughtered."

"Good luck with that!" I yelled, and Sauron released me from his grasp. Without even thinking, I threw the Ring away from me as hard as I could with a shriek. Aragorn's fast reflexes allowed him to catch it, but now the Ring was in his hand.

"Strider?" Frodo asked nervously when the Ranger paused while handing the Ring to Frodo. The man snapped out of it, closing Frodo's finger's around the ring.

"I would have gone with you to the end, into the very fires of Mordor," Aragorn said quietly.

"I know. Look after the others, especially Sam. He will not understand."

Aragorn stood abruptly, drawing his sword. Frodo drew Sting and saw that the blade was glowing.

"Go Frodo. Run. Run!" Aragorn yelled, getting ready to fight some uruk-hai.

Then I did something stupid.

Incredibly stupid.

I couldn't let Boromir die.

I just couldn't.

No...I had to.

But he didn't deserve to die!

I have to save him.

I can't!

I...I...

I raced after Frodo, knowing he would see Merry and Pippin on the way.

"Sapphire! Why are you following me?" Frodo demanded.

"Just trust me," I said, catching the hobbit's arm before he rolled down a hill.

There was growling and orc screams from behind us. We hid behind a tree and several Uruk-hai ran past.

"Psst! Frodo! Sapphire!" Merry whispered and I spotted them under some fallen tree trunks.

"Hide here! Quick! Come on!" Pippin hissed. Frodo, of course, did not budge, merely shaking his head sadly and giving me a little push, "Go Sapphire. Keep them safe for me."

I sighed, knowing that I would have to fail doing that on purpose. This was going to suck. I nodded anyways.

"What are they doin'?!" Pippin hissed as realization dawned on Merry, "He's leavin'" he whispered in shock.

Frodo gave me another push and Pippin burst out of the hole crying, "No!" Merry popped out after him, and the Uruk-hais spotted them. "Run Frodo! Go!" Merry whispered and Frodo nodded and raced off. I ducked behind some brush and watched as the hobbits taunted the Uruk-hai. I stealthily slipped between the trees to get to the rise that the Uruk-hai would shoot from. I hid in a bush and waited. Boromir arrived just in time to save the hobbits. He killed many more Uruk-hai than shown in the movie. He was surrounded by a pile of corpses. GEEZUM!

I spotted the Uruk-hai archer that would kill Boromir drawing a black arrow to his bow, and I froze. My mind raced but I couldn't make myself move.

To save or not to save?

Lauren would never forgive me if I let him die.

I would never forgive me if I let him die.

But what if saving him doomed Middle Earth?

What if it meant nothing because he would end up dying when Sauron took over because Faramir took the Ring from Frodo.

Maybe I could convince them to throw his horn in the river?

Maybe I could...make it appear he died and send him to Lothlorien to sit out the rest of the story.

I had to remind myself that I was part of this 'story'.

What to do?

To save or not to save?

I couldn't. I couldn't change the storyline.

I held back a sob as the Uruk-hai released the black poisoned arrow.


	20. The Death of Boromir

_Alright, I knew I couldn't put off Boromir's death just by not posting another chapter. Well, here goes :3 Enjoy the extra long chapter!_

 **Boromir:**

"I see your mind. You will take the Ring to Sauron! You will betray us! You'll go to your death and the death of us all! Curse you! Curse you! And all the halflings!" Boromir yelled, and tripped over a root. He tumbled down the hill a ways and when he came to a stop, all the anger was gone from him, replaced by sorrow and shame.

"Frodo?… Frodo?… what have I done?… please… Frodo!" he cried desperately, wishing to set things right. He was a fool. The others were right, the Ring was evil. How had he not seen it?

"Frodo, I'm sorry! Frodo!" he cried, hoping the halfling had not gone too far. What if the halfling just kept running and got lost? This was all his fault! He pressed his head to his hand and sobbed.

Suddenly he heard a cry of fear from one of the halfling nearby, and drawing his sword, he rushed to save them. He would not let any harm come to the halflings! He found them surrounded by dozens of Uruk-hai. Instantly he dove into battle, slicing throats and stabbing hearts. He slashed one upwards across the chest. His blade continued from the momentum and bit deep into a Uruk-hai neck. He yanked his sword out and impaled one that tried to stab him from behind.

After slaying many Uruk-hai, Boromir found he had space. He saw that there were far too many Uruk-hai for him to take himself, and he was already tiring. He blew the Horn of Gondor three times and prayed to the Valar that his plea for help would be answered quickly.

He fought and fought, the hobbits throwing rocks and managing to stab a few Uruk-hai. The Uruk-hai seemed endless. His arms throbbed and his heart pounded erratically in his chest. He wheezed, trying to breathe, and spat out orc blood. He pulled out the Horn of Gondor once more and blew it thrice.

 _Please,_ he thought, _I'm not ready to die! Please, someone, anyone, help!_

It happened so fast he didn't even see it coming.

Time seemed to slow down as he whirled about to kill yet another Uruk-hai. His eyes locked on a tall Uruk-hai's eyes as the deadly arrow flew from the bow. He couldn't move. His muscles locked up, his body already exhausted. The arrow continued on its deadly course, straight for his heart. Each heartbeat sounded like the thundering of a drum in his head, and he refused to act scared. He would face his death like a true Captain of Gondor.

Just as quickly as it had happened, it was over. Boromir was thrown back, rolling down a hill. The woman that had dived in front of him screamed as she took the arrow meant for his heart. He shielded her delicate frame as they rolled over rocks and sticks, the arrow catching on a rock and splintering, causing her to lose even more blood.

They came to a stop and Boromir stood, shaking the exhaustion and dizziness from his mind as he lifted the limp maiden who was shivering and whimpering in his arms. He gasped. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her beauty surpassed that of Lady Galadriel, yet it was a warm and kind beauty. Her golden hair lay splayed on her shoulders. Her eyes were green, with a ring of gold around each iris. How ironic... Her skin was smooth and unblemished. And in her left arm, half of an poisoned arrow was embedded in her flesh. She had taken the arrow meant for him. But why?

Lady Sapphire came running down the hill with her sword in hand, but she stopped when she saw him carrying the maiden.

"Have you seen Aragorn? I have not the skill to help this fair maiden."

"Who is that? This is bad...This is very, very bad!"

The maiden weakly lifted her uninjured arm, made a loose fist and rubbed her chest in a circle. Lady Sapphire gasped, "Lauren? What happened to you? You're all...gorgeous! Oh my Gods Lauren! There is an arrow in your arm! Why did you do that! Oh my gods...We have to get you to Aragorn!"

Boromir was confused. How did Lady Sapphire know this fair maiden? "You know this woman?" he asked.

"Yeah! She's like, my best friend! Oh my gods! Come on! Get back to the top of the hill! Aragorn should be there any second now!"

Aragorn was indeed there. He was pinned to a tree by a shield. The Orc attacking him threw his sword at Aragorn, but Aragorn slipped his head free of the trap at the last moment.

Boromir threw his knife and the orc that had fired at him and hit the maiden instead fell down dead. The hobbits were nowhere in sight, but he heard screaming from the distance.

"The little ones..." he whispered in horror. Then he remembered Frodo.

"Frodo! Where is Frodo?"

"I let Frodo go."

"Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the Ring from him."

Aragorn paused, "The Ring is beyond our reach now."

"Forgive me. I did not see it," Boromir said sadly.

"Yes we know, now can you please help her Aragorn! Geezum!"

"Yes, who is she?" Aragorn asked, raising his eyebrow as Boromir gently lowered the fair maiden to the ground. She had finally passed out from the pain, which would make it easier to pull out the arrow. Boromir sighed. He was no healer, but he could tell she was too frail to survive the amount of poison now flowing in her bloodstream. He knew she would die without Elvish healing.

"That's Lauren," Sapphire said bluntly, looking furiously at the injured woman.

"I owe this fair maiden my life. She took the arrow meant for my heart," Boromir said, watching worriedly as Aragorn inspected and cleansed the still bleeding wound. Aragorn pushed the arrow all the way through, and the woman awoke with an earsplitting scream.

Aragorn attempted to calm her, "It will be over soon milady. Just don't watch. Here, bite on this."

He handed her one of Sapphire's leather vambraces, and Sapphire cried, "Hey! I don't want teeth marks in those!"

The woman flicked up her free hand and rolled her eyes, gritting her teeth on the vambrace as Aragorn sawed off the tip of the arrow and slid the thin stick back through the opening. She sighed as Aragorn used elvish salve on the wound and bound it as tightly as he could without hurting her.

"If she is strong, she will survive, though she may lose the ability to use that arm." Aragorn said solemnly, giving the woman a drink.

"She is but a mere woman! Many of my greatest men have fallen to foul orc arrows!"

"Ah, but this is no mere mortal. You should be honored, Son of Gondor, that an immortal elleth would risk her life to save you," Legolas said, stepping forward from behind Boromir. Boromir jumped slightly, that elf had always unnerved him.

"An elleth?" Boromir breathed, leaning down. He took off his glove and brushed her beautiful golden locks out of the way to reveal delicately pointed ears.

"Why? Why would she do it?" he whispered, feeling horrible guilt crashing down on his chest. He didn't deserve to live. Not after what he had done. He had tried to take the Ring from Frodo! Why would an elf, an immortal being, chose to take the arrow meant to end his pathetic mortal life?"

"Because she's an idiot," Sapphire said angrily. Boromir and the others had come to understand some of her strange terminology. Idiot was her approximation of fool. She had just called an elf maiden a fool.

"You would call an elf a fool?" Legolas asked, though he sounded slightly amused.

"Yes! This one is the most foolish fool of all fools. Well, other than Peter. He's worse than Peregrin Took! Don't tell him I said that, he'll never forgive me!"

"Peter? How is it that you know this elf? Does she hail from where you come from?" Legolas asked.

"You could say that," Sapphire said.

 **Sapphire:**

"You could say that," I said. I couldn't believe where this was going. Boromir had lived! Lauren was now gravely injured and the story was completely messed up! What was I going to do?!

I had only one choice.

I had to tell them everything.

They were going to kill me.

I groaned, and said, "Let me start from the beginning. I'm not actually from below Southern Gondor."

"You aren't?" Boromir asked, surprised. I mentally face-palmed as Aragorn nodded and said, "Yes. Legolas told me that you claimed to be from another world."

Aragorn had known this entire time?!

"He did?" I asked rather stupidly then said, "Legolas!"

Legolas shrugged, attempting to act nonchalant.

"Not from this world?! What in Durin's name are you talking about?!" Gimli yelled.

"It's true. I'm from a place called Earth. No Middle. Just Earth," I said, "Where we come from, there are things that are so...far ahead of this time, that you would see it as magic."

At their confused faces, I hurriedly said, "But it's not. Not at all. In fact, there is no such thing as magic where I come from. Or elves. Or dwarves. No trolls. No Orcs, no Wargs, and certainly no wizards or Balrogs."

Everyone winced as I brought up the touchy topic.

"Must be a nice world...Are there spiders?" Legolas asked.

"Yes," I said slowly.

"How big?" he questioned. I finally got where he was going. He was wondering if our spiders were as big as the spiders in Mirkwood.

"Well, I think the biggest one ever found was the size of a large platter," I said slowly.

Legolas chuckled darkly at that, "Not very big then."

"What about hobbits?" Aragorn asked.

"No. No hobbits. No Dark Lords or Valar. Just men. Only men and animals." I said.

"Hmmm..."Gimli pondered aloud, "Very unusual. Legolas has a point however. It must be quite a peaceful world then."

I burst into incredulous laughter, "Are you serious? Since when have people ever gotten along?"

"More wise words were never spoken my lady," Boromir said with a dark laugh.

"Are the men of your world currently at war against one another?" Aragorn asked.

"You could say that," I said. "Heck, pretty much everyone and their mother is at war with everyone else. You couldn't find a world with more hate in it. The only thing I like about it is the cool technology, my family and friends, and the fact that women are equal to men."

"What?!" Boromir yelped, and I reconsidered, "Though, most of the men are much less...courteous..."

"I suppose it's not a good place to live then?" Legolas asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. You would hate it. Where I live, it's constantly cold, and almost every time it rains it is snow."

"How can you live in such conditions?" Boromir asked.

"We have a fireplace and warm clothes. And a heater."

"A heater?" Legolas asked.

"Nevermind. If I tried to describe every aspect of my world it would take years! We need to rescue Merry and Pippin!"

"What about Frodo?!" Legolas cried.

"He's long gone by now. Sam's with him, he'll be alright," I reassured them, "One last thing. I think some of you have noticed...I know things are going to happen ahead of time."

"Indeed! I caught you leaving your things under bushes before we attempted to cross Caradhras!" Legolas cried.

"You what?!" Boromir asked, very confused by this exchange.

"You can tell the future lass?" Gimli asked, "Like Lady Galadriel?" I saw his face get a dreamy expression on it, and I remembered what Galadriel's gift to him had been. I almost giggled; that dwarf was a goofball!

I wondered how I should tell them. It was kind of hard to reword it. What was I supposed to do, walk up to them and say, "Oh yeah, by the way, your whole lives have been a lie. You're not real."

Heck, these guys were real. They were as real as you and me. They were as real as the crazy cat lady that lived next door. (I'm not joking. No seriously! I'm not I swear!)

"Well, where I come from there was a man named John Tolkien. He went by J.R.R. Tolkien. He wrote a story, a book about how some heroes defeated an evil dark lord. It went into great detail about their quest...their quest to destroy a Ring of Power. It was about you guys. I'm...I'm not even supposed to be here. I know what is going to happen to us every step of the way."

I let that sink in.

"You've read the entire story?" Legolas asked. Well...

Not the reaction I was expecting. Then Boromir spoke, "What nonsense is this?! I don't believe foolish tales Ranger."

"I'm not a Ranger! I'm a nobody okay?! But I can prove it to you, son of Denethor. Your brother, Faramir, well, your father doesn't like him. He's always been second in your father's eyes, but you love him, and he loves you. You hate that your father doesn't see Faramir for what he is: a man who is both intelligent and kind. Though you hate to admit it, you often turn to him for guidance."

Boromir gaped at me, opening and shutting his mouth like a fish. I probably should have stopped there, but I continued, "And you, Gimli, son of Gloin, well, I don't know much of your history, but your dad went on a journey to the Lonely Mountain with Thorin and the hobbit Bilbo Baggins to steal back your gold. And I can tell you that Thranduil, Legolas' father, was there on an elk, and that the dragon was slain by some archer dude from Laketown. It's kind of weird actually but, yeah. I don't know the Hobbit as well as I know the Lord of the Rings, so..."

"The Lord of the Rings?" Aragorn asked, alarmed.

"Yeah, that's the title of the group of three books about your journey. Actually, Tolkien wrote that Bilbo Baggins was writing the Hobbit, which Frodo will confirm, and then Frodo wrote the Lord of the Rings after the journey...and..."

OH SHOOT! I NEED TO SHUT MY MOUTH!

"After the journey? Frodo survives?!" Boromir cried.

"I'm not saying anything!" I yelped.

"But Sapphire, you have just given us hope!" Boromir said, grasping my shoulders, his eyes shining. Aragorn and Legolas smiled.

"So, do I survive?" Gimli grunted, "Because I would hate to have to come back and haunt you for eternity."

"Do not ask her to tell the future," Aragorn warned. He turned to me deadly serious, "Lady Sapphire, you know the outcome of the quest?"

"Yeah..." I said breathlessly, too relieved to speak. The secret was out. They hadn't reacted as badly as I thought they would. Then my thoughts darkened, "Well, at least I know what _would_ have happened if we had not shown up!"

"We?" Aragorn questioned.

"Yeah, me and four of my friends..." My voice started to get shaky, "Us being here could mess up the story. Lady Galadriel was right when she said that the quest stands on the edge of a knife."

"Then I must ask you to swear that you will not tell anyone what is to happen," Aragorn said.

"I know, I know! But it's already too late!"

"Too late?" Boromir asked.

"The story has already been changed," I wailed.

"How has the story been changed? Surely we can right it?" Aragorn asked, looking worried.

"Not unless you want to kill..." my voice trailed off. This was so wrong!

"Kill who?" Boromir asked.

"You." I said quietly, turning my head away in shame.

Everyone stared at me, waiting for an explanation.

"You...You were supposed to die. That arrow was supposed to hit your shoulder. You were supposed to fall trying to protect the halflings. But you didn't," I said, looking Boromir in the eye.

"How does that affect the outcome of the quest?" Aragorn asked.

"I can't tell you that," I muttered, and Aragorn scowled. Boromir looked confused and sad, burying his head in his hands.

"You know, there is one other way," I said, my heart lightening at the thought.

"And what is that?" Legolas asked.

"If you're up to it..." I said, grinning mischievously.

"Tell us!" Boromir demanded.

"Well, how do you feel about busting your most prized possession?" I asked.

"Twas already broke when we fell." Boromir said sadly, displaying the cracked halves of his horn. "However, it can be mended."

"And what better way of doing that then sending it on the fast route to Gondor?" I said.

"What are you implying?" Boromir asked confusedly.

Two minutes later we were gathered near the waterfall.

"You intend to throw the Horn of Gondor over the Falls of Rauros for no reason?" Boromir asked.

"Hey! There's plenty of reason!"I protested, "Your brother has to think you're dead!"

Boromir blanched and murmured under his breath, "So that was why...I _had_ returned from the dead."

"That would be a very cruel thing to do Lady Sapphire. " Aragorn said, and I shrugged, "Do you want to save Middle Earth or not?"

"Do it," Boromir said resolutely, and I grinned and tossed into the water, where it was quickly washed away and swept over the falls.

Five minutes later:

"Sit it out?!" Boromir thundered, "I will not sit around while my people fight for their lives!"

"Peace Boromir!" Legolas yelled over the top of the man's roaring.

"She has a point," Aragorn said. "This elleth does need elvish healing if she is to ever use her arm again. It would be regretful to leave behind a strong warrior, but if Sapphire is correct, your being seen would have terrible consequences."

Boromir looked between the group and Lauren. I noticed how his gaze lingered on Lauren for far too long, and I groaned. Boromir thought Lauren was hot. Okay, any man would think Lauren was hot given her current state, but Boromir looked so infatuated it was borderline embarrassing. I was glad Lauren was not awake, she would be fire engine red right about now.

"Very well," Boromir said. "I will do it, but only because of her. She saved my life, in return I shall save hers."

"Alright then team! Let's hunt some Orc!" I yelled.

"Yes!" Gimli yelled, and with that, we were off. I put my earplugs in my ears and jammed along to my favorite tunes as I ran. I might have been singing aloud at one point, I wasn't quite sure, but Legolas kept giving me funny looks. At least, whenever he was able to keep up with me. HAH! I was faster than Legolas! I grinned and ran even faster. Gimli was struggling to keep up with even Aragorn. I was starting to think it would be faster to pull Gimli in a wagon than for him to try to run himself.

"We dwarves are natural sprinters!" he wheezed, "I'm wasted on cross-country!"

"That was an exact quote you know!" I yelled back.

"What?" he wheezed.

"Forget it!"

 **Legolas:**

The woman ran faster than him. He was astonished and impressed when she kept up the fast pace for almost an hour. When two hours passed, he was flabbergasted. Even HIS legs were getting sore by now!

"Come Gimli!" he called.

"Breathe! That's the key!" the dwarf gasped, and Legolas smirked inwardly. Dwarfs were terrible at long distances.

He had noticed that she had strange strings dangling from her ears and leading into her pocket. They were connected to small purple bulbs that she had shoved in her ears. She began humming very odd music as she ran, her pace changing slightly every time she started humming a different tune. Where was she getting all of these songs from? Were there words to the songs?

Apparently there were. He heard her breathing out of the words to one of the songs as she ran. She probably thought no one could hear her, but he could with his extremely sensitive hearing.

"It's time for me to take it..."

"I'm the boss right now..."

"Not gonna fake it..."

"Not when you go down..."

"Cause this is my game...

"And you better come to play,"

He cocked his head; this was the strangest song he'd ever heard. He wondered where she had learned it.

"I used to hold my freak back..."

"Now I'm letting go...

"I make my own choice..."

"Yeah I run this show..."

"So leave the lights on...

"No, you can't make me behave..."

He smiled inwardly, for it was the truth.

She got louder in her singing, and Aragorn could probably hear her now.

"So you say I'm complicated..."

Twas the truth...

"But you've had me underrated, rated, rated!"

What strange words to a song! Why was she repeating words?

"Oh, oh, oh! What's wrong with being, what's wrong with being, what's wrong with being confident?! Oh, oh, oh! What's wrong with being, what's wrong with being , what's wrong with being confident?!"

 _Nothing_ , he thought to himself, and he smiled.

 _PS: The first sign was "I'm sorry" the second was "Heh..."_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Confident by Demi Lovato._


	21. Hope has Returned

_I decided, for those of u that like romance, I am attempting to write Boromir/Lauren romance in a separate story. Hopefully I don't fail terribly. :D I'm writing from no experience whatsoever, using other fanfiction/novel reading experience. It will be called Love at First Sight. Please don't kill me! But for those of you who don't care for it, I am keeping this story more adventurous/humorous for right now! :D_

 _Before you read this, look up,_

 _taking the hobbits to isengard video and_

 _Orlando Bloom "They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard" Live video_

 **Sapphire:**

"Not idlely do the leaves of Lorien fall," Aragorn said, holding up the little clasp for us to see. I grinned in response.

"They may yet be alive," Aragorn said.

"Course they're alive. If the orc wanted them dead, they'd have killed them to begin with," I said cheerily. I was pleased with myself for making it all the way to the Two Towers without dying. Now was when it was going to get much harder. I still had to live through three big battles. Yippee. My guardian angel's gonna be working overtime...

"Aye lassie," Gimli panted. We came over the crest of a hill and could suddenly see the plains for miles. and Aragorn declared, "Rohan, home of the horse lords."

He then stated grimly, "There's something strange at work here. Some evil gives speed to these creatures, sets its will against us."

"Sarumon," I explained.

"That is what I presume," Aragorn said. Legolas stood up on a rock, his gold, almost white hair blowing in the chilled wind. He peered out into the distance, and I nearly squealed with joy! Time for my 4th favorite Legolas quote! (Not that he has many quotes, but these are the best)

"Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?" Aragorn inquired.

"The Uruks turn Northeast!" Legolas cried in horror.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

"They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!" Legolas cried to the dismay of everyone but me. And before I knew what I was doing, I found myself giggling and singing the stupid 'They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard Remix.'

"They're taking the hobbits to Isen-gard-gard-gard-gard-gard, to Isengard, to Isengard!"

They stared at me, which made me laugh harder, "The hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, to Isengard, to Isengard! The hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, to Isengard, to Isengard! To Isengard! To Isengard!"

I was laughing my head off at the expressions on their faces. I sat down on a rock, clutching my belly, "Oh Gods, your faces..." I laughed hysterically.

"My Lady, are you quite alright?" Aragorn questioned.

"You think I'm insane," I stated with a goofy grin.

"You seem to have started...I'm not quite sure what that was..." Legolas muttered, looking very confused.

"Uh-huh. That, mellon nin, was a ridiculous song in my world, known as the 'They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard Remix,' remind me later, I'll show you the er...I mean, I'll sing...Ahhh, forget it, let's keep moving."

"Yes, and let us make haste, they are naught but a day ahead of us," Aragorn said.

"They run as though the very whips of their masters are behind them," Legolas commented.

"Nope, they're running for their lives because we're about to catch them and kick their rear ends!" I grinned.

"Perhaps," Legolas said with a small smile.

We took a break that night. I wasn't even that tired. Neither was Legolas. Gimli, however, was lying on his back, panting for air.

"I'd almost rather ride a horse than do all this running, " Gimli said.

I smirked, "I'll hold you to that one."

"What?"

"You'll see tomorrow morning..."

"Trying to replace Gandalf as the most mysterious one are you?" Gimli chuckled, and then stiffened at his mistake. Legolas winced and Aragorn froze in place unrolling his bedroll. The Ranger's shoulders slouched and Gimli hunched down in embarrassment. I frowned. This would just not do...

"Hey, cheer up, we'll catch up with Merry and Pippin anytime now!" I said.

There were some weak smiles, and I seriously considered telling them that Gandalf was fine. But I restrained myself, it's not like they would believe me anyway right? Right?

I sighed as we started running again. The sun rose red on the horizon and Legolas called out, "A red sun rises. Blood has been spilt this night."

"Actually, that just is a trick of the light bouncing off of particles in the atmosphere..." I commented, internally scolding myself for sounding like Tyler.

Legolas turned to look at me, having not understood anything of what I had just said, and I continued embarrassedly, "But, I mean, I don't know how the weather here works, so maybe...Oh forget it, I _know_ you're right anyway."

"You _know?"_ Gimli asked.

"Yeah, remember? This whole quest was made into three books, which I have read many times over," I reminded him.

"Right, right," Gimli said.

I heard the sound of hooves a second after Aragorn felt them. He yanked us down behind a rock with a hissed, "Get down!"

The Riders of Rohan went thundering past, and Aragorn looked surprised to see that it was a large group of almost one hundred men.

"Riders of Rohan, what news from the Mark?" Aragorn called out loudly. In one mass movement, the riders all turned and headed toward us like a well-oiled war-machine.

"Wow. They are _really_ good with horses..." I muttered. This was _so_ much more than on the movie screen. They surrounded us in a tight ring and I gulped at all the spears pointed at us.

"What business does two elves, a man, and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?" the leader, who I knew was Èomer said. I realized he was mistaking me for a dude elf because a) I had cut my hair shoulder length so it wouldn't get in the way, and b) I had the hood of my elvish cloak up and I was wearing elvish garments that showed off my muscled and lithe legs.

When nobody answered, Èomer said, "Speak quickly,"

"Give me your name, horsemaster, and I shall give you mine," Gimli grunted.

Èomer hopped off his horse and walked up to the dwarf. I probably should have said something to appease him, but I really, really wanted to see this scene. I mean, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to see this scene! It was my #1 favorite Legolas quote! I just HAD to hear it come out of the real Legolas' mouth!

"I would cut off your head — _dwarf_ — if it stood but a little higher from the ground." Èomer sneered.

"You would die before your stroke fell!" Legolas cried, and the elf prince had an arrow pointed at the man's face faster than my eyes could process. I must have been grinning like an idiot, because the man growled at me, "Find this amusing boy?"

I snorted, and not even bothering to lower my voice laughed, and said, "Actually, yes, yes I do."

I flipped up my hood casually. Èomer's eyes widened and I heard several men gasp. There were whispers among the ranks, and Èomer yelled, "Silence!"

He glared at some of his men and they settled down, and turning to me, he said, "Why do you travel in the company of men fair one?"

I looked down at my arms to make sure I hadn't changed overnight like Lauren had and sighed. Nope. Same ridiculously muscled arms as always. Alas...that was the price I had to pay to kick butt...

"I consider them to be my friends," I said bluntly,

"And we consider her our equal," Aragorn said, surprising me.

"Very well. Forgive me for my crude behavior Milady. Please, tell me your names," Èomer inquired, considerably politer now that he knew a woman was present. I barely kept myself from rolling my eyes and groaning in exasperation. These men and their darned chivalry!

"I am Vindyamiriel, of Mirkwood, this is Legolas of Mirkwood, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and Gimli, son of Gloin," I said, pointing to each of us in turn.

"We are friends of Rohan and of Théoden, your king," Aragorn added.

"Théoden no longer recognizes friend from foe," Èomer declared grimly, lifting his helmet to reveal that he was the king's nephew.

"Not even his own kin," he said with a sigh. The spears were withdrawn and I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.

"Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over this land. My company are those loyal to Rohan. And for that, we are banished," Èomer said bitterly.

"The White Wizard is cunning. He walks here and there they say, as an old man, hooded and cloaked," Èomer said ominously. He gave Legolas and me pointed looks, "And everywhere his spies slip past our nets..."

"We are no spies. We track a band of Uruk-hai westward across the plains. They have taken two of our friends captive," Aragorn said.

"The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them during the night," Èomer told the Ranger.

Gimli looked very upset, "But there were two hobbits, did you see two hobbits with them?"

"They would be small, only children to your eyes," Aragorn added.

"We left none alive," Èomer said firmly, "We piled the carcasses and burned them." The man pointed to the rising plume of black smoke in the distance.

Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn looked so horrified and shattered by the false news that I knew I had to stop this. I could not let them go through so much pain for no reason, it would be heartless of me to do so.

"Dead?" Gimli murmured.

Èomer nodded solemnly, "I am so..."

I cut him off.

"They're not dead."

At this, the others sighed in relief. I guess they really did believe that I knew what would happen, and they knew that I wasn't just trying to kindle false hope.

"We will find them, with your permission," I said, remembering my manners at the last second.

Èomer nodded and whistled, "Hasufel! Arod!"

Two horses trotted up. They looked identical to the ones in the movie. I'm not even going to try to describe the horses, because I know I would just slaughter their er...majestic-ness.

Èomer smiled, but it was more of a grimace, "May these horses bear you to better fortune than the former masters. Farewell."

"See you soon," I said, knowing that I would...if I made it through the Battle of Helm's Deep alive.

"Look for your friends, but do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands," he stated grimly.

Before he could turn to ride off, I gave Aragorn a meaningful glance, and called out, "He just returned!"

Èomer ignored me, or didn't hear me, "We ride north!"

Tell me if you get it.

Tell meeee if you like it.

Repeat your favorite part! DON'T care WHAT you DO, just TAKE the TIME and REVIEW!


	22. A Hairy Potter?

New chapter baby! WOOP WOOP!

Sapphire:

"Alright, we have to find us some NOT-DEAD hobbits now. Let's ride!" I yelled happily.

"Come Gimli, don't be afraid," Legolas chuckled, trying to get the dwarf up onto the horse.

"I'm not riding a..."

"Ah-ah-ah!" I chided, "I seem to recall you claiming that riding a horse would be better than all the endless running... Now it's time for you to find out if you were right!"

"I don't suppose you know how to..." Aragorn commented from in the saddle while I petted the beautiful chocolate horse we were given.

"You're a beauty Hasufel..." I whispered. Hasufel snorted and I scratched him behind his velvety ears.

"Lady Sapphire," Aragorn said, attempting to get my attention.

"Please just call me Sapphire!" I complained.

"Sapphire, do you need assistance getting atop Hasufel?"

I snorted, "No. Hey Legolas? Wanna race? First to the stinky dead orc pile wins!"

Legolas got a gleam in his eyes that made Gimli mutter, "Oh no..."

I leapt up in front of Aragorn and took the reins.

"I suggest you hold on," I told him. With a whinny, Hasufel took off. Arod was just as fast, but unfortunately, he was lugging a dwarf.

So, naturally, I won. I rewarded Hasufel with a thorough ear scratching. Legolas pouted atop his white stallion and Aragorn glared at me as he demounted.

Legolas hopped off Arod and shook my hand, "Well met. You are a excellent rider."

"Thanks!" I grinned, blushing ever so slightly. Oh gods, hope he didn't notice that...

Gimli looked like he was about to hurl. He tried to jump off Arod and fell over. He rolled down the hill and came to a stop at Legolas' feet. Legolas looked amused and then slightly worried that the dwarf was going to vomit on his boots.

And Arod, the poor horse...

Let's just say that the horse was _not_ having a good day.

We could smell the burnt orc long before we saw it. Now that we were here, I gagged and pinched my finger over my nose.

"Oh gods, that is foul!" I whined, and the others grimaced in agreement.

"Okay, Aragorn. See that helmet?" I pointed at the lone helmet that had rolled away from the pile of burnt carcasses. The same one that Aragorn kicked in the movie. By the way, did you know that during the filming of the movie, Orlando Bloom cracked a rib and Viggo Mortenson broke his toe. They wanted Viggo to kick the helmet more in the direction of the camera. He tried three times, and each time was better. But the fourth time, he aimed it perfectly at the camera, and also gave out this realistic howl of pain and sunk to his knees. They were extremely impressed with how heartfelt it sounded. They didn't realize until afterwards that he had broken his toe kicking the helmet and that he had used his pain to fuel the emotional cry. They used that take in the movie.

So, whenever you're watching the Lord of the Rings, you can tell your friends, " _Viggo literally just broke his toe kicking that helmet."_

Anyway, Aragorn walked over to the helmet and looked at it, "Yes, why?"

"That's where the trail starts," I explained. Aragorn nodded and bent down to search the ground for clues.

"You are correct. A hobbit lay here...and the other...they crawled... Did the story in your world tell you all this?" Aragorn asked.

"Well, actually most everything that has happened so far is from the movie."

"And what is a movie?" Aragorn asked.

"It's like a play, but its...well...you see, my world has technolo...uh... My world is further in the future. Like I said before, we have things that would seem like magic to you, but they're not. I'm not into learning the details of how the stuff works, so I couldn't explain how it's not magic to you, you'll just have to take my word for it. A movie is when someone uses something called a camera to record people acting out a book or story. Then, you can take this movie and put it in something called a television, which is like a metal box with a flat glass window on the front, and the television will show you the play again as many times as you want."

Eyebrows went up, but Legolas was the only one who commented.

"I would very much like to witness one of these 'movies'"

"Uh... sorry, maybe later I can show you my phone..."

"Their bonds were cut..." Aragorn muttered to himself, "...They ran over here. They were followed."

I stared in amazement at the Ranger. I swear, he knew exactly who was there, how long ago they were there, and what direction they were heading by one bent blade of grass (WARNING:EXAGGERATION) But still, that guy was good...

"The tracks lead away from the battle...into Fangorn forest..."

Gimli looked horrified, "What madness drove them in there?!"

"UH...I don't know, maybe the massive battle behind them?!" I rolled my eyes.

Legolas laughed like tinkling bells and I found myself smiling dazedly at him. Luckily, he didn't notice. Wow, he even laughed gorgeously. I giggled, and shook my head, "I feel like a freaking Mary Sue over here. I must be going crazy."

"You feel like a Mary Sue?" Gimli grunted, "Who or what is a Mary Sue?"

"Ahhh...nothing..." I muttered, my cheeks burning, hopefully just on the inside. I certainly hoped I wasn't blushing. Geez, maybe I _was_ a Mary Sue...

That sucks.

We headed into Fangorn forest, and I realized that Gimli was right in the movie. The air _was_ very close in here.

Gimli licked orc blood off his finger and spat it out, "Orc blood,"

"Why'd you taste it then?" I sniggered.

Gimli just grunted in response, something I found he did a lot.

"These are strange tracks," Aragorn commented.

"Uh-huh. That's cause they were made by Ent feet," I said.

"Ents? Shepherds of the Forest? But I thought they..." Legolas trailed off.

"The air is so close in here," Gimli complained.

"This forest is old," Legolas noted, "Very old. Full of memory..." Legolas paused, thinking.

"...and Anger!" Legolas added with wide eyes.

The trees groaned and Gimli raised his axe. The trees proceeded to groan some more.

"The trees are speaking to each other," Legolas whispered.

"Gimli, I'd put down that axe if I were you. Trees are very sensitive when it comes to deforestation," I warned.

"The Forest Nation?" Gimli asked. "Since when do trees have a nation?"

"No! Deforestation! Cutting down trees."

"Oh." Gimli said, lowering his axe embarrassedly.

"They have feelings my friend. The Elves began it. Waking up the trees, teaching them to speak." Legolas explained.

"So, what Legolas is saying, is that if we get murdered by trees, we can feel free to blame the elves," I teased.

Legolas gave me a funny look and Gimli snorted, "Talking trees. What do trees have to talk about? Except the consistency of squirrel droppings?"

"Hear, hear!" I agreed.

Legolas suddenly tensed and I remembered what came next. I felt kind of bad about not telling them earlier, but I figured, Gandalf had wanted to surprise them anyway. Otherwise he would have just walked out of the trees and been like, _"Hi guys, I'm magically back from the dead! Isn't it great?!"_

He wouldn't have hidden himself with magic and done the whole: _"I might or might not be Saruman."_ thing.

 _"Aragorn, nad no ennas!"_ the elf hissed. I didn't know much Elvish, but if I remembered correctly from the movie, he was saying, "Something's out there."

"Man cenich?" Aragorn whispered back. That was either, "What is it?" or "What do you see?" I wasn't entirely sure...

"The White Wizard approaches."

"Do not let him speak, he will put a spell on us," Aragorn warned as he silently slid his sword out of his scabbard, "We must be quick."

One breath later, we all whirled around to see an intense light. Gandalf the White was in the house.

Gimli threw an axe, and it shattered. Legolas fired an arrow, which shared the same fate. Aragorn dropped his sword as it burns with heat. I found myself having to shield my eyes from the blinding white light.

"Hi Gandalf," I said casually.

The others looked at me like I was crazy, but then the light died down and they saw that it _was_ Gandalf.

"It cannot be..." Aragorn murmured, "Sapphire, why did you not tell us?!"

"Well, I figured he wanted to surprise you," I shrugged, "Besides, you told me not to divulge what I know."

"Forgive me, I mistook you for Saruman," Legolas cried, bowing down to Gandalf.

"I am Saruman. Or rather, Saruman as he should have been."

"You fell..." Aragorn whispered.

"Through fire, and water. In the lowest dungeon, on the highest peak I fought him, the Balrog of Morgoth. Until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me and I strayed out of thought and time. The stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as a life age on the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done," Gandalf gave his little speech.

"Gandalf..."Aragorn said, still in shock, but tears of joy in his eyes.

"Gandalf?" the wizard asked, as if he had forgotten his own name, "Yes, that was what they used to call me..."

Aragorn nodded and Gandalf smiled, "Gandalf the Grey. That was my name."

"Gandalf," Gimli grinned, relieved beyond words.

" I am Gandalf the White, and I come back to you now at the turn of the tide."

I smiled, "I'm liking the sound of that. So, I'm guessing you already know my story..."

"Yes, Sapphire Snitch, I know your story. And I must say, learning about your world gave me quite the headache."

I grinned as the others looked at Gandalf, hearing the absolute confirmation that I was from another world.

Legolas shook his head incredulously, "So, Gandalf has seen a 'movie'?"

"Indeed I have! I found Harry Potter rather entertaining, I must say. I particularly liked the Headmaster of the wizard school. He and I share the same wonderful sense of humor."

I started laughing hysterically, and couldn't stop for a good five minutes.

"A hairy potter? Why would a hairy...oh confound it all!" Gimli cried.

That made me laugh even harder.

"Alright, alright," I gasped, "We better get going..."

"Gandalf, the halflings have been taken," Aragorn started but was cut off.

"Yes, yes, they passed this way just a day ago. They met someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you?"

"Not exactly..." Legolas muttered to himself and I raised an eyebrow. Was Legolas getting some sass?

I was _such_ a bad influence.

Heehee...


	23. Alert: Muscle Mass Rapidly Declining

Next chapter! Please remember to check out the Boromir/Lauren fanfic sidestory thing. I changed the title, it's now called _A Long Way Back to Lothlorien_. Thank you for reviewing! Please review some more! I love reviews! :D

 **Lilac the Dryad in Review:** We're taking the hobbits to Isengard!

 **Minerakf:** Uh...What? Why are YOU taking the hobbits to Isengard?! What happened to the Uruk-hai?!

 **Lilac the Dryad:** The Hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, to Isengard!

 **Anijon:** To Isengard!

 **Anijon in Review:** Hooray! This chapter is awesome! When you show Legolas and Gimli the movie, can I watch too? I bet their faces would be hilarious!

 **Minerakf:** Uh... Anijon, you do realize they don't exist...

 **Anijon:** Sure they do! Hey Harry, come in here!

*A hairy potter walks in.*

 **Anijon:** Uh...wrong Harry Potter...sorry...Can you please leave sir?

 **Minerakf:** Uh...

 **Hairy potter:** Hullo, I am Fred the potter. Would you like to purchase a quality vase, or perhaps some ceramic dishes? All my items are handmade with the utmost care and...

 ***The Real Harry Potter walks in***

 **Minerakf:** OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

 **ChocolateWriter605:** *Laughing hard* Oh my God, *snort* Hairy potter...that is so funny

 **Harry Potter:** What's so funny?

 **Lilac the Dryad:** The Harry Potter reference!

 **Anijon:** _They're taking the hobbits to Isengard Remix._ I've watched that video so many times!

 **Minerakf:** My lord, what is going on here?! I'm supposed to be writing the story but you guys just keep talking!

 **Lilac the Dryad:** We're taking the hobbits to Isengard, We're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

 **Anijon:** To Isengard! To Isengard! Another fantabulous chapter! Hey, did you know I like The Newsies and Doctor Who?!

 **ChocolateWriter605:** *Cannot stop laughing*

 **Anijon:** What would you guys do if I told you I would like to see a Newsies and Lord of the Rings crossover?

 **Lilac the Dryad:** *Snorts out milk*

 **ChocolateWriter605:** *Snorts out chocolate milk*

 **Tempest1444:** _meowmeowmeow_

 **Minerakf: ENOUGH!**

 ***silence***

 ***more silence***

 ***crickets chirping***

 **Minerakf:** *Sigh* FINALLY! *starts writing*

 **Tempest1444:** _meow?_

 **Minerakf:** AHHHHHHHHHH! *Jumps out of seat and stubs toe* AHHHHH AHHHH AHHHHHH OWWWWWW!

 **THE CHAPTER:**

Sapphire:

"We must ride to Edoras with all speed," Gandalf told us.

"Edoras? That is no short distance!" Gimli practically yelped. I smirked at the dwarf.

"Sorry, looks like there's more horse-riding in your future after all Gimli."

"We hear of trouble in Rohan. It goes ill with the king," Aragorn replied to the wizard.

"Yes, and it will not be easily cured," Gandalf stated darkly.

I frowned, "Aw, Gandalf, stop putting yourself down! You can do it! I believe in you."

"Then we have come all this way for nothing? Are we to leave those poor hobbits..."

"Behind? Yep, pretty much!" I said loudly before Gimli could insult the forest.

"It was more than mere chance that brought Merry and Pippin to Fangorn. A great power has been sleeping here for many long years. The coming of Merry and Pippin will be like the falling of small stones that starts an avalanche in the mountains," Gandalf said mysteriously.

"In one thing you have not changed, dear friend," Aragorn murmured under his breath to Gandalf, but somehow I still managed to hear Gandalf go ,"Hmm?"

"You still speak in riddles," Aragorn said, causing amusement in the old wizard's expression and a twinkling in his eyes. The two shared a laugh much needed and they were off through the forest.

"A thing is about to happen here that has not happened since the Elder Days. The Ents are going to wake up and find that they are strong," Gandalf explained further.

"Strong? Oh, that's good," Gimli said awkwardly.

"So stop your fretting Master Dwarf. Merry and Pippin are quite safe. In fact, they are far safer than you are about to be," Gandalf quipped.

"This new Gandalf's more grumpy than the old one," Gimli commented.

I frowned, "Actually, he's really not. I recall him telling Pippin to bang his head against the stone door to see if it would crack it open, and if not then he would have some peace. So, yeah, pretty much the same Gandalf he's always been."

"Point taken lassie," Gimli replied.

They came to the edge of the forest and Gandalf gave a piercing whistle that would make even Percy Jackson envious.

That was when I saw him. Shadowfax. I was instantly in love.

He was the most gorgeous horse I'd ever seen. Pure white flanks with a sheen that made him appear to glow, perfectly brushed mane flowing in the wind, hooves sending up little puffs of dust. Shadowfax reared and whinnied, as if to say, "Look at me!" The horse practically demanded attention.

Legolas gasped, and whispered, "That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell,"

Shadowfax stopped before Gandalf and I slowly approached him.

"Shadowfax, Lord of all Horses. He has been my friend through many dangers," Gandalf said.

"Can I touch him? Or would that make him uncomfortable? Is it okay to pet the Lord of Horses?" I babbled.

Gandalf's eyes twinkled with amusement, "Yes, Lady Sapphire, you can touch him if he will allow it,"

I hesitantly approached the horse. Shadowfax sniffed my hand and then pressed into my palm, searching for food.

I giggled and stroked his mane. He seemed to like it.

"You are a beautiful horse," I told him.

He whinnied and tossed his head like he was laughing.

Gandalf swung himself onto Shadowfax and I pulled myself onto Hasufel, and we were off.

When we reached Edoras, I saw the flag flutter down and I caught it. No use wasting perfectly good flags.

I guided Hasufel up to the gate, where we were stopped by three guards.

"Why have you come back Gandalf Greyhame?" one asked.

"You know why I have returned," Gandalf retorted sharply.

"You are no longer welcome here."

"Uh, why?" I asked, becoming worried. This scene was not in the movie.

"He _stole_ the King's best horse, a Mearas no less, straight from his stables! And now he dares to come back riding Shadowfax as if he was his all along," one of the guards said angrily.

"Maybe he's here to return said horse," I quipped, lowering my voice to sound like a guy, but really, that wasn't much. I already sounded very masculine. The guards frowned and contemplated.

"Let them through," one said finally.

"Thank you kindly," Gandalf said to the guard as we passed through the gate, and then he turned and winked at me. I winked back, though he couldn't see my face under my hood.

As we walked through the sad town, I shook my head at how everyone was wearing black, just like in the movie.

"You'd find more cheer in a graveyard," Gimli commented grimly.

"Agreed," was all I said. Even lighthearted me was depressed by all this weeping and moping.

"Ah," puffed Gandalf, bending over slightly as we reached the top of the stairs. I suppressed a grin; Gandalf was already playing the old man card.

"I cannot allow you before Théoden King so armed, Gandalf Greyhame," the head guard said. I believe his name was...Hama? Yeah, wait, no, it had an accent. I mean, seriously, did everyone's name in Rohan have an accent? Théoden, Eówyn, Eómer, Háma, Théodred

Gandalf raised an eyebrow and the man explained, "By order of...Grima Wormtongue"

Oh, Grima! Yay! I found one with no accent mark! Of course, that guy was about as Rohirric as a monkey was human. But, wait, there was the guy named Grimbold. He didn't have an accent mark!

I was very pleased with myself and forgot to hand over my weapons. I had left my sword in the sheath at my waist for the moment in case I needed to use it and didn't want anyone to see it was magic.

"Boy!" Háma called me back to my senses.

"Nah, girl here," I said, flipping back my hood and grinning at their shock. Man, that would never get old.

I handed over my bag and growled, "If you even dare to open this bag, I will use you as my personal punching bag."

I flexed my muscles, "Got it?"

They didn't look nearly as frightened as they should have been.

I handed one of them Vindyamiriel and smiled, "Good luck keeping a hold of this one,"

Gandalf played his whole, _"I'm an old man, you wouldn't make me walk without a cane would you?"_ thing, which nearly made me snort, and then we were inside.

By the time Grima had cried, "His staff! Why didn't you take his staff?" Vindyamiriel had returned to my pocket in pen-form.

But, of course, I wasn't going to use it. Geez, why do you guys always assume the worst. Ya'll some morbid people out there man...

Only one guard came after me. They thought I was just a weak woman. I frowned after conking the dude on the head and knocking him out. I looked down at my legs and frowned some more.

I was losing muscle, and fast. I seriously needed to work out more. I was starting to look less like a muscled freak however.

But I liked being strong. In fact, I still felt strong. Just as strong as I did with tons of muscle.

How long had it been since I had lifted a couple hundred pound weight?

I tried to pick up the unconscious dude and found I could still do so with ease, even though my muscles were kinda wimpy looking now.

I looked down at my hands and saw that my short stubby fingers had gained a few centimeters.

WHAT?

Gandalf was busy exorcising Théoden over there and I was over here, freaking out because I was turning girly.

My life was way too weird.


End file.
